The best mean jokes

My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills. I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, relationship, sex, technology
Q: What did the little black kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.
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has 67.88 % from 293 votes. More jokes about: black people, Christmas, kids, mean
Me driving by a Taco Bell. Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Two weeks later: Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Background Checks Required.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: food, management, mean
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: flirt, mean, men, women
This woman was driving home in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. She stopped the car and asked the woman if she'd like a ride. The woman thanked her and got in the car. After a few minutes, the Navajo woman noticed a brown bag on the back seat and asked the driver what was in the bag. The driver said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband." The Navajo woman thought for a moment, then said, "Good trade."
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: driving, mean, time, wine, women
One day, a guy walks into a pub and orders a beer. His friend walks up and sees his red eyes and asks, "Dude, are you okay? You look exhausted". He replies,"Yeah, I heard about what happened in your house yesterday too. Tough." His friend says, "Yeah, I wish I could trust my wife a little more - wait... How did you know about that?" He says,"I was there" and continues chugging his beer.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: beer, communication, friendship, marriage, mean
"Wow, look at that! Isn't it beautiful? Let's destroy it." -People
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: mean, war
On the first day of the deer hunting season, a hunter fell out of a deer stand and broke both his legs. "Why couldn't this happen on my last day of hunting?!" the hunter cried to the doctor. "It did," the doctor replied.
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, hunting, mean, time
An Atheist dies in a car crash and wakes up in a big dark room with a sign above a single door: "Welcome to Hell!" "Shit! So the Shavelings were right after all!" the Atheist thinks, opens the door – and is stunned by the view! A marvelous beach! Crystal blue water, white sand, palm trees, the sun is shining and all around there are people laughing, having fun and listening to happy music or enjoying excellent food and drinks.rnLucifer, dressed in a Hawaiian Shirt, greets the Atheist, hands him a fantastic- looking cocktail and says cheerfully: "Hey! Welcome to Hell. Have a drink, have a snack. Take a look around and enjoy yourself! See you later!" Totally speechless at first, the Atheist finally starts to take a look around, is greeted everywhere, listens to people´s stories about their mortal lives and takes a stroll down the beach. After a few minutes into the walk, he starts hearing cries of pain, wailing, shouts, and screams and decides to follow that noises. Finally, the Atheist arrives at the rim of a big, black hole, takes a look down and is scared to the bone! Down there, the place is all fire, sulfur, brimstone! Rivers of lava, gnarled trees, and among it all the lost souls, being tormented forever by demons and devils. "Whoa! Take it easy!" Lucifer jumps right in to prevent the Atheist from falling into that pit and he stumbles backward, drops into the sand and stammers: "Wha... what the HELL is that place?" Lucifer looks down, shrugs and says: "Oh, that´s the Catholic´s department. They want it that way."
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has 67.57 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: atheist, car, catholic, death, mean
Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, mean
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