The best mean jokes

A bill collector came to my house the other day, so I gave him a huge stack of old bills.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: mean, money, work
Q: Why does California have the most lawyers, and New Jersey, the most toxic waste dumps? A: New Jersey got first pick.
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More jokes about: geography, lawyer, mean
Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good." Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"
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More jokes about: flirt, health, mean, men, women
Husband: "Shall we try a different position tonight?" Wife: "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
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More jokes about: communication, fart, marriage, mean, sex
Q: What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers? A: They grow taller!
Vote: has 71.25 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, lawyer, mean, viagra
My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.
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More jokes about: food, mean, religious, wife
"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" "My name is Paul."
Vote: has 70.84 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, mean
If you see me smiling, I'm probably thinking of doing something evil. If I'm laughing, I've already done it.
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More jokes about: life, mean
I decided to grab a burger at a drive-thru. There were no cars in sight, so I rolled up to the pay window. "We're still serving breakfast. And you have to order at the speaker," the clerk scolded. I drove all the way around the building to the squawk box and ordered a breakfast sandwich. "I'm sorry," she said, "we are now serving lunch."
Vote: has 70.84 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, customer service, food, mean, time
I lost 125 pounds. It took me a long time, and it cost me a lot of money, but I finally divorced the bitch!
Vote: has 70.84 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: divorce, mean, money, time