The best mean jokes

Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good." Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"
Vote: has 70.70 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: flirt, health, mean, men, women
There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.
Vote: has 70.70 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, mean, money, sex, women
A man comes home and tells his wife to tell him something that is going to laugh and cry. Wife thinks for a minute and says... "of all your friends you have the biggest dick."
Vote: has 70.43 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, friendship, marriage, mean, sex
I got so fed up with trick or treaters at Halloween that in the end I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in. Forget the ships. My lighthouse, my rules...
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Halloween, life, mean, travel, work
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day. "Yes," came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, "I've bought her a belt and a bag." "That was very kind of you," Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought." Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now."
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: friendship, mean, Valentines day, wife, work
A bill collector came to my house the other day, so I gave him a huge stack of old bills.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: mean, money, work
"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" "My name is Paul."
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, mean
Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
Vote: has 69.39 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, food, kids, mean, money
Your mama is so ugly she jumps and the gravity did not return.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: mean, science, ugly, Yo mama
Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!
Vote: has 68.97 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, insulting, love, mean, poems