The best mean jokes

"Wow, look at that! Isn't it beautiful? Let's destroy it." -People
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: mean, war
An aching back sent me stumbling to the drugstore for relief. After a search, I found what I was looking for: a selection of heating pads specifically for people with back pain—all on the bottom shelf.
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: customer service, health, mean
Q: Why does California have the most lawyers, and New Jersey, the most toxic waste dumps? A: New Jersey got first pick.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: geography, lawyer, mean
Two skunks observed a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with a rifle. "I hope he's not going to shoot at us," said one skunk. The second skunk bowed his head and said, "Let us spray."
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More jokes about: animal, disgusting, hunting, mean
Yo mammas so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, her reflection said," I quit." And walked away.
Vote: has 71.38 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, mean, ugly, Yo mama
Q: What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers? A: They grow taller!
Vote: has 71.25 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, lawyer, mean, viagra
Autocorrect can kiss my ask!
Vote: has 70.84 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: mean, technology, vulgar
Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, mean
I decided to grab a burger at a drive-thru. There were no cars in sight, so I rolled up to the pay window. "We're still serving breakfast. And you have to order at the speaker," the clerk scolded. I drove all the way around the building to the squawk box and ordered a breakfast sandwich. "I'm sorry," she said, "we are now serving lunch."
Vote: has 70.84 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, customer service, food, mean, time
I lost 125 pounds. It took me a long time, and it cost me a lot of money, but I finally divorced the bitch!
Vote: has 70.84 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: divorce, mean, money, time