The best jokes about men

Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man. This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want.
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has 76.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men, single, women
While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ. "I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied: "Thank you, dear!"
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has 76.54 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, men, stupid, women
Once there were three men, Dave, John, and Sam, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died. As they stood at the gates of heaven St. Peter came up to them and said, "You will all be given a method of transportation for your eternal use around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will have your transport chosen accordingly." St. Peter looked at Dave and said, "You, Dave, were a bad man. You cheated on your wife four times! For this, you will drive around Heaven in an old beat up Dodge." Next St. Peter looked at John and said, "You, were not so evil, but you still cheated on your wife two times. For this, you will forever travel around heaven in a Toyota stationwagon." St. Peter finally looked at Sam, and said, "You, Sam, have set a fine example. You did not have sex until after marriage, and you never cheated on your wife! For this, you will forever travel through heaven in a Ferrari." A short time later, Jon and Dave pulled up in their cars next to Sam’s Ferrari and there he is, sitting on the hood, head in hands, crying. "What’s wrong, Sam?" they asked. "You got the Ferrari! You are set forever! Why so down?" Sam looked up, ever so slowly opened his mouth and cried, "I just saw my wife go by on a skate board."
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has 76.53 % from 166 votes. More jokes about: car, death, heaven, marriage, men
How is a man like a snowstorm? You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
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has 76.32 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. Men will screw anything.
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men
I stopped at a friend's house the other day and found him stalking around with a fly-swatter. When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered: "Yeah, three males and two females." Curious, I asked how he could tell the difference. He said: "Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone."
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: men
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
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has 76.22 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, women
A Knight was getting ready for the crusade. Ha turned to his friend and told him: "My fiancée is the most beautiful girl in the world and I can't imagine her being with someone else, while I'm gone. You're my best friend and I trust you. Here's the key for her chastity belt. In case I never get back, unlock her and set her free." When the crusade Knights were a mile away from the village, the Knight gets an urgent message: "Mate, You Gave Me The Wrong Key!"
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has 76.11 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: beauty, men, women
Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life, men, women
Statistics say that women think they are smarter than men because they can fake orgasms. Men say "Big deal. We can fake a whole relationship just for a shag."
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: men
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