Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
A: Snowballs.
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom."
The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him.
The man asks, "Is it serious, doctor?"
The doctor replies, "I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."
A man is moaning to his mate that he never has any luck with pulling women.
His mate tells him he has a chat up line that never fails, no matter how good looking the women are he always ends up in bed with them.
Great says his mate, what is it!
Just walk up to any woman you fancy and say, "Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion! Does this damp piece of cloth smell like chloroform to you?"
Q: What happens to the man who lost his whole left side of his body?
A: He is all right now.
Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A: They already have boyfriends.
Men are like Bluetooth.
When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.
A family went to a nudist camp for their vacation.
The young son came back to the tent and said, "Wow, Mom! You should see some of those girls. They've got these HUGE..."
"Yes, well," his mother sniffs. "The larger they are, the dumber the woman."
Next day the boy comes back to the tent again. "You wouldn't believe some of the guys out there. They have these HUGE..."
"Yes, well, like I said, the bigger they are, the dumber the man."
"Really?" the boy said, frowning with puzzlement. "We might be in trouble, Mom."
"Why, honey?"
"Because Dad's out there talking to a really stupid girl, and he's getting dumber by the minute."
Do you know why bankers are good lovers?
They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?
Q: What would it be a good idea for you to do after a man takes your wife?
A: Let him keep her!