The best jokes about men

"Lisa, why are you so angry with me?" "Because I'm Christine."
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has 77.03 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: men
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!" The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room. About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company." The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
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has 77.02 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: dad, hospital, men, nurse, wife
Do you know why bankers are good lovers? They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
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has 76.99 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: love, men
How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares?
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has 76.99 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
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has 76.96 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, women
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk. The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years." The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "Food cold!" the man replied. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?" "Robe dirty!" the man exclaimed. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "I quit!" said the man. "Well," the head monk replied, "I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"
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has 76.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: food, men, work
A man parachuted out of an aeroplane and his chute did not open. As he headed for almost certain death, he saw a man coming up toward him through the air from the ground. As the man zoomed by, the man headed down asked, "Do you know anything about parachutes?" The man replied in passing, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?"
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has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: airplane, death, men
I love the lines the men use to get us into bed: "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute." What am I...? A microwave?
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has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, love, men, technology, time
A man, during his night prays, asks God: "Oh, Lord... Why you’ve made women so beautiful?" God replies: "So you can love them, my child." "Fine, but my Lord, why you’ve made them so stupid?" "So that they can love you back, my child...!"
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has 76.66 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: beauty, god, love, men, stupid
A man enters a store and says: "15 litres of wine please." "Did you bring a container for this? " "You're speaking to it."
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has 76.51 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, men, wine