The best jokes about men

My wife was dying. I was by her bedside. She said in a tired voice, "Theres something I must confess." "Shhh" I said, "theres nothing to confess. Everythings alright." "No I must die in peace. I had s*x with your brother, your best friend, his best friend and your father!" "I know," I whispered "Thats why i posion you, now close your eyes!"
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has 75.27 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: death, men, wife
A Knight was getting ready for the crusade. Ha turned to his friend and told him: "My fiancée is the most beautiful girl in the world and I can't imagine her being with someone else, while I'm gone. You're my best friend and I trust you. Here's the key for her chastity belt. In case I never get back, unlock her and set her free." When the crusade Knights were a mile away from the village, the Knight gets an urgent message: "Mate, You Gave Me The Wrong Key!"
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has 75.19 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: beauty, men, women
While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ. "I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied: "Thank you, dear!"
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has 75.19 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, men, stupid, women
Question: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? Answer: When she starts her sentence with, “A man once told me…”
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has 75.05 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: men, women
How is a man like a snowstorm? You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
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has 75.00 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: men
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom." The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him. The man asks, "Is it serious, doctor?" The doctor replies, "I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."
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has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: men
Susan was having a tough day and after returning home she started complaining. She said to her husband, "Nobody loves me….nobody cares for me..the whole world hates me!" Her husband, watching TV said casually: "That’s not true dear. You are not that famous that whole world hates you. Some people don’t even know you."
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has 74.95 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: husband, love, men
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
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has 74.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: men
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
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has 74.89 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, women
I love the lines the men use to get us into bed: "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute." What am I...? A microwave?
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: communication, love, men, technology, time
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