The best jokes about men

Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
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has 75.25 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: men
Susan was having a tough day and after returning home she started complaining. She said to her husband, "Nobody loves me….nobody cares for me..the whole world hates me!" Her husband, watching TV said casually: "That’s not true dear. You are not that famous that whole world hates you. Some people don’t even know you."
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has 75.05 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: husband, love, men
How is a man like a snowstorm? You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
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has 75.00 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: men
My wife was dying. I was by her bedside. She said in a tired voice, "Theres something I must confess." "Shhh" I said, "theres nothing to confess. Everythings alright." "No I must die in peace. I had s*x with your brother, your best friend, his best friend and your father!" "I know," I whispered "Thats why i posion you, now close your eyes!"
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has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: death, men, wife
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
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has 74.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, men
Men are like Bluetooth. When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.
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has 74.84 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: men
There once was a fellow from Kent Who had such a long instrument. To stay out of trouble He folded it double. And instead of coming he went.
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has 74.84 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: men
A family went to a nudist camp for their vacation. The young son came back to the tent and said, "Wow, Mom! You should see some of those girls. They've got these HUGE..." "Yes, well," his mother sniffs. "The larger they are, the dumber the woman." Next day the boy comes back to the tent again. "You wouldn't believe some of the guys out there. They have these HUGE..." "Yes, well, like I said, the bigger they are, the dumber the man." "Really?" the boy said, frowning with puzzlement. "We might be in trouble, Mom." "Why, honey?" "Because Dad's out there talking to a really stupid girl, and he's getting dumber by the minute."
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has 74.84 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: men
How many men would it take to mop a floor? No one knows; they've never done it.
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has 74.84 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: men
Two guys die in a car accident and an angel descends from heaven. "I am to give you your wings so you can fly to heaven. But if you think one dirty thought or act out one dirty act your wings will fall off." So they fly to heaven without any trouble but when they get there the first guy sees a naked woman walk by so his wings falll off. When he bends over to pick them up the second guy's wings fall off.
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: men
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