The best jokes about men

Question: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? Answer: When she starts her sentence with, “A man once told me…”
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has 75.20 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: men, women
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?" "Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?" "Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
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has 75.19 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, single, ugly, women
Susan was having a tough day and after returning home she started complaining. She said to her husband, "Nobody loves me….nobody cares for me..the whole world hates me!" Her husband, watching TV said casually: "That’s not true dear. You are not that famous that whole world hates you. Some people don’t even know you."
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has 75.05 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: husband, love, men
How is a man like a snowstorm? You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
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has 75.00 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: men
A man goes into a florist and says, "I want to buy some flowers for my girlfriend". "Certainly sir", she responds, "and what in particular are you after"? After some thought, the man answers, "a shag".
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has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, men, relationship, sex
Men are like Bluetooth. When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.
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has 74.84 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: men
There once was a fellow from Kent Who had such a long instrument. To stay out of trouble He folded it double. And instead of coming he went.
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has 74.84 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: men
A family went to a nudist camp for their vacation. The young son came back to the tent and said, "Wow, Mom! You should see some of those girls. They've got these HUGE..." "Yes, well," his mother sniffs. "The larger they are, the dumber the woman." Next day the boy comes back to the tent again. "You wouldn't believe some of the guys out there. They have these HUGE..." "Yes, well, like I said, the bigger they are, the dumber the man." "Really?" the boy said, frowning with puzzlement. "We might be in trouble, Mom." "Why, honey?" "Because Dad's out there talking to a really stupid girl, and he's getting dumber by the minute."
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has 74.84 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: men
How many men would it take to mop a floor? No one knows; they've never done it.
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has 74.84 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: men
While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ. "I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied: "Thank you, dear!"
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, men, stupid, women
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