The best jokes about men

A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly. “Is everything okay, pal?”, the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!”. Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, “Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?” “Yeah. But today is the last day”.
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, drunk, men
Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: men
A plane is descending rapidly from the air, and the passengers are all scared stiff. Suddenly a women near the front of the plane stands up and takes off her shirt. She proceeds to yell, "Is there a man on this plane that can make me feel like a REAL woman before I die?!" She continues to yell this for about ten minutes before a man in the very back takes a stand. He proceeds to say "Yeah I can make you feel like a woman." He then takes off his shirt and throws it towards her and says, "Here! Iron this!"
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: men
A guy rang up to air port and said: "Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico? The lady replied "A moment..." Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation.
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has 73.28 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, stupid, time, travel
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
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has 72.93 % from 417 votes. More jokes about: desert island, friendship, genie, men
Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A: They already have boyfriends.
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has 72.81 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: men, relationship
A guy walks into an antique store and buys a grandfather clock, he walks out of the shop with it and accidentally walks into a drunk guy. (they both fall over and the clock gets smashed to bits) The guy says to the drunk, "Why don't you watch where your going?" and the drunk says, "Why don't you carry a wrist watch like everybody else?"
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has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: men
What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need. A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.
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has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: men, women
A man is moaning to his mate that he never has any luck with pulling women. His mate tells him he has a chat up line that never fails, no matter how good looking the women are he always ends up in bed with them. Great says his mate, what is it! Just walk up to any woman you fancy and say, "Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion! Does this damp piece of cloth smell like chloroform to you?"
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: What happens to the man who lost his whole left side of his body? A: He is all right now.
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men
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