The best jokes about men

How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares?
Vote: has 72.24 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Q: What would it be a good idea for you to do after a man takes your wife? A: Let him keep her!
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More jokes about: mean, men, wife
Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together. One man says, "I'm a salesman. What about you?" "I'm a hit man for the mob," replies the second man. He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights. He then asks the man where he lives. Nervously, the first man replies, "In a subdivision just west of here. Gray roof, yellow siding." "You got a silver compact and a red pickup?" "The compact is my wife's car, but that's my buddy Jeff's truck." The hit man looks through the scope again. "Well, they're going at it like teenagers in your bedroom." "I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot him in the balls." The hit man says, "I get paid $5,000 per shot." "I don't care! Just do it!" The hit man takes careful aim and says, "This is your lucky day. You're going to get a two for one!"
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, golf, men, money, wife
God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, men, work
A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, wife
My wife was dying. I was by her bedside. She said in a tired voice, "Theres something I must confess." "Shhh" I said, "theres nothing to confess. Everythings alright." "No I must die in peace. I had s*x with your brother, your best friend, his best friend and your father!" "I know," I whispered "Thats why i posion you, now close your eyes!"
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, men, wife
Why don't men like to drink coffee at work? It keeps them awake.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, work
Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, men, women
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk. The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years." The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "Food cold!" the man replied. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?" "Robe dirty!" the man exclaimed. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "I quit!" said the man. "Well," the head monk replied, "I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, men, work
What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A rumor.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men