The best jokes about men

A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly. “Is everything okay, pal?”, the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!”. Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, “Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?” “Yeah. But today is the last day”.
Vote:
has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, drunk, men
Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Vote:
has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: men
A guy rang up to air port and said: "Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico? The lady replied "A moment..." Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation.
Vote:
has 73.54 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, stupid, time, travel
A guy walks into an antique store and buys a grandfather clock, he walks out of the shop with it and accidentally walks into a drunk guy. (they both fall over and the clock gets smashed to bits) The guy says to the drunk, "Why don't you watch where your going?" and the drunk says, "Why don't you carry a wrist watch like everybody else?"
Vote:
has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: men
A man sits on a bus looking ashamed. The man next to him notices and asks what is wrong. He says that when he went to buy the bus ticket, the woman serving him had the most unbelievable breasts, so he got flustered and asked for two tickets to Tittsburgh instead of Pittsburgh. The man next to him laughs, "Don't worry about that. We all make Freudian slips. This morning I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say, 'Pass the salt,' but I accidently said, 'You f**king bitch, you ruined my life.'"
Vote:
has 73.40 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: life, men, wife, women
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?" "Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?" "Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
Vote:
has 73.22 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, single, ugly, women
A man had a party where all the rich people attend. And the he had a pool with alligators. So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes. But no one wanted to go for the challenge. All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive. So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?" The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in..."
Vote:
has 73.05 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: animal, men, party
Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A: They already have boyfriends.
Vote:
has 72.97 % from 164 votes. More jokes about: men, relationship
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
Vote:
has 72.87 % from 420 votes. More jokes about: desert island, friendship, genie, men
What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need. A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.
Vote:
has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: men, women
<<<13141516
More jokes →
Page 13 of 52.