The best jokes about men

After an accident... 1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first. 2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men
A man goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce dangling from his rectum. "That looks nasty," says the doctor. "Nasty?" the man says. "That's just the tip of the iceberg."
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: doctor, men
A man had a party where all the rich people attend. And the he had a pool with alligators. So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes. But no one wanted to go for the challenge. All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive. So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?" The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in..."
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has 71.29 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: animal, men, party
Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good." Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"
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has 71.15 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: flirt, health, mean, men, women
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: men, women
John was in trouble, really big trouble. You see, he forgot his wedding anniversary and, if you're married, you can imagine what he's probably going through. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" She was serious too, so John got serious. The next morning he woke up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped, right there in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife threw her robe on and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house and opened in with much anticipation. Inside she found a brand new bathroom scale. John has been missing since Thursday.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: men
There's 3 army generals and the government decides to pay them any way they want measured. First guy says measure from the tip of my toe to the end of my finger. So they do and its 73 inches so they pay him $730,000. The second guy does the same and gets paid $650,000. The third guy goes measure from the tip of my penis to the back of my balls. They say OK drop your pants, so he does and they measure. "You have no balls" they say. "Yes I do," he replies, "they're still in Vietnam.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: men
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, political, women
Boy: "Do you like parties?" Girl: "Yes, why?" Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
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has 70.73 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, men, party, women
A Knight was getting ready for the crusade. Ha turned to his friend and told him: "My fiancée is the most beautiful girl in the world and I can't imagine her being with someone else, while I'm gone. You're my best friend and I trust you. Here's the key for her chastity belt. In case I never get back, unlock her and set her free." When the crusade Knights were a mile away from the village, the Knight gets an urgent message: "Mate, You Gave Me The Wrong Key!"
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has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: beauty, men, women
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