The best jokes about men

Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised? A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
Vote: has 71.63 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, men, sex, stupid, women
A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril. He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well." The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, food, men
Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, men, women
What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A rumor.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good." Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"
Vote: has 71.35 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: flirt, health, mean, men, women
Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand." The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna. In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear. The others raise their eyebrows. "I'm getting a fax," he explains.
Vote: has 71.25 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men, phone, technology
A plane is descending rapidly from the air, and the passengers are all scared stiff. Suddenly a women near the front of the plane stands up and takes off her shirt. She proceeds to yell, "Is there a man on this plane that can make me feel like a REAL woman before I die?!" She continues to yell this for about ten minutes before a man in the very back takes a stand. He proceeds to say "Yeah I can make you feel like a woman." He then takes off his shirt and throws it towards her and says, "Here! Iron this!"
Vote: has 71.25 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
Vote: has 70.92 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men, women
A man ask his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?" Wife says, "I would take half and leave you". Man says, "Great! I have won a tenner, here a fiver now f*ck off!
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
A man is moaning to his mate that he never has any luck with pulling women. His mate tells him he has a chat up line that never fails, no matter how good looking the women are he always ends up in bed with them. Great says his mate, what is it! Just walk up to any woman you fancy and say, "Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion! Does this damp piece of cloth smell like chloroform to you?"
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men


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