The best jokes about men

A man goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce dangling from his rectum. "That looks nasty," says the doctor. "Nasty?" the man says. "That's just the tip of the iceberg."
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: doctor, men
A man had a party where all the rich people attend. And the he had a pool with alligators. So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes. But no one wanted to go for the challenge. All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive. So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?" The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in..."
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has 71.29 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: animal, men, party
What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need. A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.
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has 71.25 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: men, women
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
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has 71.15 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, men, time
Boy: "Do you like parties?" Girl: "Yes, why?" Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
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has 71.09 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, men, party, women
Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
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has 71.05 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: flirt, mean, men, women
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand." The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna. In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear. The others raise their eyebrows. "I'm getting a fax," he explains.
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: men, phone, technology
Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, food, men, sex
John was in trouble, really big trouble. You see, he forgot his wedding anniversary and, if you're married, you can imagine what he's probably going through. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" She was serious too, so John got serious. The next morning he woke up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped, right there in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife threw her robe on and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house and opened in with much anticipation. Inside she found a brand new bathroom scale. John has been missing since Thursday.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: men
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