The best jokes about men

A man had a party where all the rich people attend. And the he had a pool with alligators. So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes. But no one wanted to go for the challenge. All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive. So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?" The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in..."
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has 72.70 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: animal, men, party
Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. "Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: men
There's 3 army generals and the government decides to pay them any way they want measured. First guy says measure from the tip of my toe to the end of my finger. So they do and its 73 inches so they pay him $730,000. The second guy does the same and gets paid $650,000. The third guy goes measure from the tip of my penis to the back of my balls. They say OK drop your pants, so he does and they measure. "You have no balls" they say. "Yes I do," he replies, "they're still in Vietnam.
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: men
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with, "A man once told me..."
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A. They already have boyfriends.
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has 72.56 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: gay, men
A man parachuted out of an aeroplane and his chute did not open. As he headed for almost certain death, he saw a man coming up toward him through the air from the ground. As the man zoomed by, the man headed down asked, "Do you know anything about parachutes?" The man replied in passing, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?"
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has 72.56 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: airplane, death, men
An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing." The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: college, men, teacher, women
Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!" Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
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has 72.27 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, mean, men, women
Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
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has 71.72 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: men
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage? Because they are tired of using their own.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men, women
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