The best jokes about men

A man and woman were on their first date. The woman was trying to make conversation and said, "So I hear you hunt deer." The man looked away and turned red. "What's wrong?" asked the woman. "I'm not used to someone calling me dear on the first date," the man said.
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, dating, hunting, men, women
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
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has 73.13 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, women
Man walks over to a lady in a bar and asks "whats your name ?" "Carmen" she replies,... "I like cars and men ! Whats yours ?" The man looks her up and down and sayes "Beerpussy ..."
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has 73.01 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, car, men, sex
While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ. "I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied: "Thank you, dear!"
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has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, men, stupid, women
Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand." The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna. In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear. The others raise their eyebrows. "I'm getting a fax," he explains.
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has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: men, phone, technology
Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life, men, women
A man consulted his priest about getting a divorce. The priest was surprised. "Why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely wife? She is soft and gentle and, if I may say so, she is also quite beautiful and nicely proportioned. I really can’t see what you have to complain about." The man took off his shoe. "See this shoe," he said, showing it to the priest, "The leather is soft and gentle. It is a beautiful piece of work and nicely proportioned." "Ah"” said the priest, "a parable." "In a way, Father," replied the man. "I’m the only one who knows it pinches."
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: divorce, love, men, priest, wife
Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A: They already have boyfriends.
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has 72.49 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: men, relationship
Q: Why did they make glow in the dark condoms? A: So gay guys can play star wars.
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has 72.48 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, men, sex
The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. "Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves." "Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives. "For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000." Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. A few actually smirked. But the patient’s daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?" "A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team. "Women’s brains have to be marked down because they have actually been used."
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: age, family, men, money, women
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