The best jokes about men

Why does a penis have a hole at the end? So guys can be open-minded.
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has 69.96 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men
John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. “Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks. “Not really,” says Mary. “Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John. “No,” she responds. “What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.” Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?” “John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary. John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”
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has 69.93 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, car, divorce, men, wife
Wife: "I have to tell you something. I'm pregnant." Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad." Wife: "No, you are not."
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, men, wife
Girl: "Girls are better than boys." Boy: "Then why did God make boys first?" Girl: "Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy."
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: men, women
A man walking down the streets sees another man with a very big dog. One man says to the other, "Does your dog bite?" The man replies, "No my dog doesn't." The man pats the dog and has his hand bitten off, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite" said the injured man. "Thats not my dog", replied the other.
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: men
A Roadway driver is driving east on Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and the CB crackles to life. “Hey Roadway driver, who are the two biggest fags in America?” comes from the CB. The Roadway driver replies, “I don’t know.” The other trucker says ” You and your brother.” Well the Roadway driver gets annoyed but the other driver tells him “It’s just a joke – tell it to the next truck you see.” Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour and finally sees another truck. He gets on the CB and says “Hey other truck, do you know who the two biggest fags in the world are?” The other trucker says, “I don’t know, who?” The roadway driver replies “Me and my brother.”
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: life, men
Warning ladies! Never trust a man who calls you "SEXY". This is why. When he removes the letter 'Y' it means you're down for "SEX". After sex, he will remove the letter "S" and start calling you his "EX".
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has 69.34 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, women
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Doc, says Steve, "I want to be castrated." "What on Earth for?" "It's something I've been thinking about for a long time. If you don't do it, I'll just go to another doctor." "OK, but it's against my better judgment." Steve has his operation. The next day he walks down the hospital corridor very slowly, legs apart, with his drip stand. Heading toward him is another patient walking exactly the same way. "Hi there," says Steve, "It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me." "Yeah," says the patient, "I finally decided I'd like to be circumcised." Steve's eyes widen in horror, "Oh no! That's the word!"
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: men
Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!" Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, mean, men, women
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