The best jokes about men

Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together. One man says, "I'm a salesman. What about you?" "I'm a hit man for the mob," replies the second man. He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights. He then asks the man where he lives. Nervously, the first man replies, "In a subdivision just west of here. Gray roof, yellow siding." "You got a silver compact and a red pickup?" "The compact is my wife's car, but that's my buddy Jeff's truck." The hit man looks through the scope again. "Well, they're going at it like teenagers in your bedroom." "I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot him in the balls." The hit man says, "I get paid $5,000 per shot." "I don't care! Just do it!" The hit man takes careful aim and says, "This is your lucky day. You're going to get a two for one!"
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: car, golf, men, money, wife
I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, men, music, relationship
Did you hear about the man who spent too much of his company's money on Viagra? Now he's hard up.
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: business, men, money, viagra
Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand." The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna. In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear. The others raise their eyebrows. "I'm getting a fax," he explains.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: men, phone, technology
Dad: Hey son want to hear a joke? Son: Yeah! Dad: Pussy. Son: I don't get it. Dad: Exactly...
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
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has 69.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, women
Boy: "Do you like parties?" Girl: "Yes, why?" Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
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has 69.73 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, men, party, women
Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, food, men, sex
A man walking down the streets sees another man with a very big dog. One man says to the other, "Does your dog bite?" The man replies, "No my dog doesn't." The man pats the dog and has his hand bitten off, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite" said the injured man. "Thats not my dog", replied the other.
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: men
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?” “What dear?” She asked gently. “I think you bring me bad luck.”
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has 69.49 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: business, health, husband, men
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