Hi, I see that you're new to this gym, and I wanna be the first male to bother you.
Q: What is height of Stupidity? A: A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"
I only wanted to have a child, not marry one.
Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
After spending 20 minutes trying to get my wife's bra off, I decided to give up, I wish I'd never put it on now.
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A. One - men will screw anything. B. One - men will screw up anything. C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.