The best jokes about men

Sid and Irv are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife. So Irv dies. Sid doesn't hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It's Irv. "So there is an afterlife! What's it like?" Sid asks. "Well, I sleep very late. I get up, have a big breakfast. Then I have sex, lots of sex. Then I go back sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. Have some more sex. Take a nap. Huge dinner. More sex. Go to sleep, and wake up the next day." "Oh, my God," says Sid "So that's what heaven is like?" "Oh no," says Irv. "I'm not in heaven. I'm a bear in Yellowstone Park."
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: men
A man and woman were on their first date. The woman was trying to make conversation and said, "So I hear you hunt deer." The man looked away and turned red. "What's wrong?" asked the woman. "I'm not used to someone calling me dear on the first date," the man said.
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has 63.61 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: communication, dating, hunting, men, women
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: car, death, lawyer, men
Hi, I see that you're new to this gym, and I wanna be the first male to bother you.
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has 63.21 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: flirt, gym, men
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men
When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: food, men, music
I only wanted to have a child, not marry one.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men
Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men, travel
"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, men
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, men
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