The best jokes about men

A nude guy was sunbathing at the beach, a little girl comes to him, he covers his private parts with a newspaper. The little girl asks, "hats under there?" So the man answers , "A bird..." The girl goes away & the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself in a hospital & in alot of pain. A doctor comes up to his bed & asks, 'What happened?' The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach & fell asleep after talking to a little girl." So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses. When they got there, they see the little girl the man was talking about. So they ask her if she did anything to the man...? She answers, "I din't do anything to the man, but he was sleeping, I played with his bird, After a while, it spat at me, so i broke its neck, burnt its nest, and smashed all its eggs!"
Vote: has 63.51 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, cop, doctor, men
John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. “Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks. “Not really,” says Mary. “Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John. “No,” she responds. “What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.” Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?” “John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary. John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: anniversary, car, divorce, men, wife
What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men, sex
In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested. After that, He creaed man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: god, men, women
A man walks into a sperm Bank. He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle. He decides to start a conversation with him. He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?" The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty, geek, internet, men
Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why? Theres no place like home ...
Vote: has 63.07 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, men, women
A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her ass as she walks by.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
A man walked into the doctor's office and said: "Doc, I've eaten something that disagrees with me." A voice from his stomach replies: "No you haven't."
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, men
Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill? A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: easter, life, men, money, Santa
A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
Vote: has 62.63 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, wife


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