The best jokes about men

A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her ass as she walks by.
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: men
Sid and Irv are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife. So Irv dies. Sid doesn't hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It's Irv. "So there is an afterlife! What's it like?" Sid asks. "Well, I sleep very late. I get up, have a big breakfast. Then I have sex, lots of sex. Then I go back sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. Have some more sex. Take a nap. Huge dinner. More sex. Go to sleep, and wake up the next day." "Oh, my God," says Sid "So that's what heaven is like?" "Oh no," says Irv. "I'm not in heaven. I'm a bear in Yellowstone Park."
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: men
Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married.
Vote:
has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: fat, marriage, men, women
How to Impress a Woman: compliment her, kiss her, caress her, love her, comfort her, protect her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, listen to her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. How to Impress a Man: show up naked, bring beer.
Vote:
has 64.09 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: beer, love, men, romantic, women
Men are like.....Bank Machines. Once they withdraw they lose interest.
Vote:
has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: men
MEN Vs WOMEN 1. MEN discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT. WOMEN discovered paint and invented makeup. 2. Men discovered word and invented conversation. Women discovered conversation and invented gossip. 3. Men discovered gambling and invented cards. Women discovered cards and invented Witchery. 4. Men discovered trading and invented money. Women discovered money and invented shopping. There after Men have discovered and invented lots of things while Women STUCK TO SHOPPING.
Vote:
has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Husband admiring his body in the mirror says to wife "look at that, 14 stones of pure dynamite !" Wife replies "yeah, shame about the 2 inch fuse..."
Vote:
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: men
A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"
Vote:
has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, men
A real man would never cry in public unless: He watched a movie in which a heroic dog dies to save his master. Or if Heidi klum unbuckled her shirt. Or if he accidentally dropped crates full of beer.
Vote:
has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: beer, celebrity, dog, men
Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
Vote:
has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: fart, men, women
<<<24252627
More jokes →
Page 24 of 52.