What does a man call true love?
An erection.
Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain?
A: A widower.
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
A. One - men will screw anything.
B. One - men will screw up anything.
C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
Vote:
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
Vote:
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested.
After that, He creaed man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.
How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts?
Guilt gifts are nicer.
God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast.
At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better.
The man said that he actually felt worse.
“Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked.
“No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”