What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. Men will screw anything.
Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain? A: A widower.
MEN Vs WOMEN 1. MEN discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT. WOMEN discovered paint and invented makeup. 2. Men discovered word and invented conversation. Women discovered conversation and invented gossip. 3. Men discovered gambling and invented cards. Women discovered cards and invented Witchery. 4. Men discovered trading and invented money. Women discovered money and invented shopping. There after Men have discovered and invented lots of things while Women STUCK TO SHOPPING.
How can you tell if a man is lying? You can see his lips moving.
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'
Q. How do men define a long-term relationship? A. A second date.
Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage? Because they are tired of using their own.