When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
An exhausted hunter out in the woods stumbled across another hunter. Hunter 1: "Am I glad to see you, I've been lost for three days." Hunter 2: "Don't get too excited, friend, I've been lost for three weeks."
After spending 20 minutes trying to get my wife's bra off, I decided to give up, I wish I'd never put it on now.
Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra? A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.
Men are like Bluetooth. When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.
Adam goes to God and says, "I would like a mate to please me and make living joyful. She should be beautiful and perfect in every way. God says, "I can do that, but it will cost you a testicle, a kidney, and one eye." To which Adam replied, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"
How are men and parking spots alike? The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.
A man was digging a ditch, when he uncovered a lamp. When he brushed it off, a genie popped out, and said "To show my gratitude for releasing me, I'll grant you one wish.." The man thought for a second, reached into his pocket, pulled out a map of the world, pointed to the Middle-East, and replied "I want you to bring peace to this area." "Ooooh...I'm so sorry, that's impossible" said the genie. "There's absolutely no way I could accomplish such a great feat, so you'll have to choose another wish..." The man then said "Well...then how about having my wife give me oral-sex voluntarily...?" The genie thought for a minute, then said "Can I see that map again..?"