A man walked into the doctor's office and said: "Doc, I've eaten something that disagrees with me." A voice from his stomach replies: "No you haven't."
A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
What does a man call true love? An erection.
Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain? A: A widower.
Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.
Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises? So oxygen can get into their brains.
How are men and parking spots alike? The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.
MEN Vs WOMEN 1. MEN discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT. WOMEN discovered paint and invented makeup. 2. Men discovered word and invented conversation. Women discovered conversation and invented gossip. 3. Men discovered gambling and invented cards. Women discovered cards and invented Witchery. 4. Men discovered trading and invented money. Women discovered money and invented shopping. There after Men have discovered and invented lots of things while Women STUCK TO SHOPPING.
After spending 20 minutes trying to get my wife's bra off, I decided to give up, I wish I'd never put it on now.
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.