The best jokes about men

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
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has 64.79 % from 202 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? Two ways to cross a river.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men
How are men like noodles? They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men
Sid and Irv are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife. So Irv dies. Sid doesn't hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It's Irv. "So there is an afterlife! What's it like?" Sid asks. "Well, I sleep very late. I get up, have a big breakfast. Then I have sex, lots of sex. Then I go back sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. Have some more sex. Take a nap. Huge dinner. More sex. Go to sleep, and wake up the next day." "Oh, my God," says Sid "So that's what heaven is like?" "Oh no," says Irv. "I'm not in heaven. I'm a bear in Yellowstone Park."
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: men
Two young men who had just graduated from university climbed into a taxi wearing their graduation gowns. "Are you graduates from the city university?" asked the cab driver. "Yes, sir," they announced proudly. "Class of "99." The cabbie extended his hand. "Class of "67."
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: graduation, men, time, work
Wife: "I have to tell you something. I'm pregnant." Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad." Wife: "No, you are not."
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has 64.59 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, men, wife
A man and woman were on their first date. The woman was trying to make conversation and said, "So I hear you hunt deer." The man looked away and turned red. "What's wrong?" asked the woman. "I'm not used to someone calling me dear on the first date," the man said.
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has 64.28 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: communication, dating, hunting, men, women
God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: god, men, work
Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.
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has 63.81 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: death, men, wife, women
How to Impress a Woman: compliment her, kiss her, caress her, love her, comfort her, protect her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, listen to her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. How to Impress a Man: show up naked, bring beer.
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has 63.79 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: beer, love, men, romantic, women
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