The best jokes about men

A man is in a mall and sees a clothes store. He sees a magnificent, brand new jacket in the shop window and decides he shall try it on and buy it. So he walks into the shop and asks an employee: "Excuse me sir." "How can I help you" the employee replies. "Could I by any chance try on that jacket in your shop window?" The employee looks at him and says "No you shall not you are to try it on in the changing rooms like everybody else!"
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, customer service, men
Man walks into a shop and sees a very handsome dog. He asks the shop assistant, "Does your dog bite?" "No, my dog doesn't bite." The man happily tries to pet the dog, but the dog attacks him viciously. A little later he stumbles to the shop clerk, "Hey, you said your dog doesn't bite!" The shop clerk shrugs, "He doesn't. But that wasn't my dog."
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: customer service, dog, men
Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: men, political, women
What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.
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has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: men
2 cannibals having dinner. 1st says to 2nd, "Your wife makes a lovely stew." 2nd answers, "Yes but I will miss her."
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain? A: A widower.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men
If you catch a man…throw him back.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men
Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: bird, men
A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to bed. So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber. The man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely." So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband. On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?" The woman gets up and enters the man's bed. The two make passionate love and afterwards the women rolls out. As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face. The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy idiot."
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, men, wife, work
A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her ass as she walks by.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: men
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