The best jokes about men

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him.
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: god, men, women
A real man would never cry in public unless: He watched a movie in which a heroic dog dies to save his master. Or if Heidi klum unbuckled her shirt. Or if he accidentally dropped crates full of beer.
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: beer, celebrity, dog, men
Man walks into a shop and sees a very handsome dog. He asks the shop assistant, "Does your dog bite?" "No, my dog doesn't bite." The man happily tries to pet the dog, but the dog attacks him viciously. A little later he stumbles to the shop clerk, "Hey, you said your dog doesn't bite!" The shop clerk shrugs, "He doesn't. But that wasn't my dog."
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: customer service, dog, men
What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.
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has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: men, sex
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
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has 61.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, political, women
Girl: "Girls are better than boys." Boy: "Then why did God make boys first?" Girl: "Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy."
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has 61.38 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A: A dic-tater.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: food, men
How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: food, men
A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her ass as she walks by.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: men
A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to bed. So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber. The man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely." So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband. On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?" The woman gets up and enters the man's bed. The two make passionate love and afterwards the women rolls out. As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face. The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy idiot."
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, men, wife, work
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