The best jokes about men

A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
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More jokes about: doctor, food, men, time
Wouldn’t it be great if men were made by Kodak! They would automatically shut off when they weren’t being used. You wouldn’t have to wait for them to recharge after each shot. They last longer and come with a warranty. You can try them out first for a two-week trial period and return them if not satisfied with no risks or hassle. They exist to capture the moment, not ruin it. They come in fashion colors. You can keep them in maximum zoom. They come with replaceable or adjustable parts. The parts that count are portable. They don’t mind over-exposure. They respond to the slightest touch. The one you want is available at a KMART near you.
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Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?
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More jokes about: bird, men
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four". Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!". Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fell off.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
How can you tell if a novel is homosexual? The hero always gets his man in the end.
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What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.
Vote: has 58.67 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

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Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
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What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him.
Vote: has 58.52 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, men, women
Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, sex, women
What did God say after creating man? I can do better.
Vote: has 57.83 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, men