The best jokes about men

A nude guy was sunbathing at the beach, a little girl comes to him, he covers his private parts with a newspaper. The little girl asks, "hats under there?" So the man answers , "A bird..." The girl goes away & the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself in a hospital & in alot of pain. A doctor comes up to his bed & asks, 'What happened?' The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach & fell asleep after talking to a little girl." So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses. When they got there, they see the little girl the man was talking about. So they ask her if she did anything to the man...? She answers, "I din't do anything to the man, but he was sleeping, I played with his bird, After a while, it spat at me, so i broke its neck, burnt its nest, and smashed all its eggs!"
Vote:
has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, doctor, men
One day there were two men. One was driving a Mercedes Benz and the other was riding a horse, both waiting at the traffic light. The man in the Benz looked at the horse and noticed something different, that horse was not a normal horse. It was an electric horse and has 3 buttons in it if you press one button it moves forward, if you press the second button it moves faster and if you press the last button it will stop. The guy in the Benz was really impressed, so he asked the guy riding the horse if he wanted to trade the horse for the Benz, so he agreed. They did the trade and the guy riding the horse drove the Benz and went on his way but the other guy was still stuck in the traffic light trying to get the horse to move. He tried all the buttons but the horse does not seem to be moving so he called the horse owner and asked him if he can come back to show him how to move the horse. So the guy came back, he pressed all the buttons again but the horse still doesn't move. He noticed the horse's penis was up so he tells the other guy: "Ohh you forgot to release the handbrake!"
Vote:
has 61.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, horse, men, technology
A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."
Vote:
has 61.39 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: golf, men, sport, winter, women
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes? A: Because they can understand them.
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men
Boy will be boys but one day all girls will be women.
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men, women
If you catch a man…throw him back.
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men, travel
"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, men
A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her ass as she walks by.
Vote:
has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: men
A man is in a mall and sees a clothes store. He sees a magnificent, brand new jacket in the shop window and decides he shall try it on and buy it. So he walks into the shop and asks an employee: "Excuse me sir." "How can I help you" the employee replies. "Could I by any chance try on that jacket in your shop window?" The employee looks at him and says "No you shall not you are to try it on in the changing rooms like everybody else!"
Vote:
has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, customer service, men
<<<26272829
More jokes →
Page 26 of 52.