The best jokes about men

What did God say after creating man? I can do better.
Vote: has 57.83 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, men
What is a man's definition of safe sex? A padded headboard.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Adam goes to God and says, "I would like a mate to please me and make living joyful. She should be beautiful and perfect in every way. God says, "I can do that, but it will cost you a testicle, a kidney, and one eye." To which Adam replied, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, men
2 cannibals having dinner. 1st says to 2nd, "Your wife makes a lovely stew." 2nd answers, "Yes but I will miss her."
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, political, women
Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week? Because the text on the nappies package said "18-40 lbs".
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, husband, men
Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, sex, women
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men