Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain? A: A widower.
A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her ass as she walks by.
A man walked into the doctor's office and said: "Doc, I've eaten something that disagrees with me." A voice from his stomach replies: "No you haven't."
Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer? A: Chelsea.
What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.
MEN Vs WOMEN 1. MEN discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT. WOMEN discovered paint and invented makeup. 2. Men discovered word and invented conversation. Women discovered conversation and invented gossip. 3. Men discovered gambling and invented cards. Women discovered cards and invented Witchery. 4. Men discovered trading and invented money. Women discovered money and invented shopping. There after Men have discovered and invented lots of things while Women STUCK TO SHOPPING.
What is a man's definition of safe sex? A padded headboard.
"What is the thickest book in the world? What Men Think They Know About Women."
What is a man's idea of helping with housework? Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.