The best jokes about men

Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: men, political, women
The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to two final applicants - one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!" Up stepped a burley young man who seemed quite sure of himself. "He looks like he can take care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him. He turned to the first applicant and told him he could go and they would let him know.  Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carry yourself that's an important asset for the job as cashier. However, you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out the place on the application where we asked your formal education." Jim looked a little confused so the manager said, "Where did you get your financial education?"  "Oh," replied Jim " at Yale." "That's very good, excellent. You're hired! Now that you're working for us, what do you prefer to be called?" Jim answered "I don't care. Yimi or Mr. Yonson."
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: men, school, work
A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to bed. So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber. The man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely." So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband. On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?" The woman gets up and enters the man's bed. The two make passionate love and afterwards the women rolls out. As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face. The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy idiot."
Vote:
has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, men, wife, work
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
Vote:
has 57.82 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, fat, men, Santa, Thanksgiving
A widowed elderly lady was sunbathing on a beach in Fort Myers, FL. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand next to hers and began reading a book.  Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello sir, how are you today?" "Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.  "I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked. "First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago," he replied and turned back to his book. "I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away 3 years ago and it is very lonely," she countered. "Do you live around here?" she asked. "Yes, I live over in Cape Coral," he answered and again resumed reading.  Trying to find a topic of common interest, and noticing that his book was about veterinary medicine, she persisted, "Do you like pussy cats?" With that, the man dropped his book, jumped off his blanket and on to hers, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!  When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?" The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"
Vote:
has 57.81 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: age, husband, marriage, men, wife
Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
Vote:
has 57.62 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: fart, men, women
How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Vote:
has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
What is a man's definition of safe sex? A padded headboard.
Vote:
has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
What is a man's idea of helping with housework? Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
Vote:
has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares?
Vote:
has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
<<<29303132
More jokes →
Page 29 of 52.