How can you tell if a novel is homosexual? The hero always gets his man in the end.
Q: The male sex has two hobbies. What are they? A: His left hand and his right hand.
The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to two final applicants - one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!" Up stepped a burley young man who seemed quite sure of himself. "He looks like he can take care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him. He turned to the first applicant and told him he could go and they would let him know. Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carry yourself that's an important asset for the job as cashier. However, you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out the place on the application where we asked your formal education." Jim looked a little confused so the manager said, "Where did you get your financial education?" "Oh," replied Jim " at Yale." "That's very good, excellent. You're hired! Now that you're working for us, what do you prefer to be called?" Jim answered "I don't care. Yimi or Mr. Yonson."
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married.
A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
Men are like.....Coffee The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
What is a man's definition of safe sex? A padded headboard.
What is a man's idea of helping with housework? Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? Two ways to cross a river.