A widowed elderly lady was sunbathing on a beach in Fort Myers, FL. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand next to hers and began reading a book. Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello sir, how are you today?" "Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book. "I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked. "First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago," he replied and turned back to his book. "I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away 3 years ago and it is very lonely," she countered. "Do you live around here?" she asked. "Yes, I live over in Cape Coral," he answered and again resumed reading. Trying to find a topic of common interest, and noticing that his book was about veterinary medicine, she persisted, "Do you like pussy cats?" With that, the man dropped his book, jumped off his blanket and on to hers, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate ride of her life! When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?" The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"
When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
How can you tell if a novel is homosexual? The hero always gets his man in the end.
Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
What is a "successful hunting trip"? When three men kill 9 cases of Budweiser in two days
The bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to two final applicants - one of which would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid. Then he called for the second man, "Jim Johnson!" Up stepped a burley young man who seemed quite sure of himself. "He looks like he can take care of any situation," thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him. He turned to the first applicant and told him he could go and they would let him know. Turning to Johnson, he said, "Now Jim, I like the way you carry yourself that's an important asset for the job as cashier. However, you must be precise. I noticed you did not fill out the place on the application where we asked your formal education." Jim looked a little confused so the manager said, "Where did you get your financial education?" "Oh," replied Jim " at Yale." "That's very good, excellent. You're hired! Now that you're working for us, what do you prefer to be called?" Jim answered "I don't care. Yimi or Mr. Yonson."
Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache." The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"
Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.