The best jokes about men

A widowed elderly lady was sunbathing on a beach in Fort Myers, FL. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand next to hers and began reading a book.  Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello sir, how are you today?" "Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.  "I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked. "First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago," he replied and turned back to his book. "I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away 3 years ago and it is very lonely," she countered. "Do you live around here?" she asked. "Yes, I live over in Cape Coral," he answered and again resumed reading.  Trying to find a topic of common interest, and noticing that his book was about veterinary medicine, she persisted, "Do you like pussy cats?" With that, the man dropped his book, jumped off his blanket and on to hers, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!  When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?" The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"
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has 57.99 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: age, husband, marriage, men, wife
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?" "Yeah," says the other cowboy.  "Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."  Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon." "Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what colour they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"  The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."
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has 57.98 % from 178 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy, life, men, women
Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer? A: Chelsea.
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has 57.66 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, political, soccer, sport
I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.
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has 57.64 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, women
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: beauty, men, women
Boy: "Do you like parties?" Girl: "Yes, why?" Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
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has 57.52 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, men, party, women
Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
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has 57.49 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: fart, men, women
Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under? A. Because deep down he's a good person.
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
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