2 cannibals having dinner. 1st says to 2nd, "Your wife makes a lovely stew." 2nd answers, "Yes but I will miss her."
Why is a man different from a PC? You only have to tell the PC once.
I only wanted to have a child, not marry one.
How can you tell if a man is lying? You can see his lips moving.
Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married.
A man went into the drugstore and asked for a deodorant. "The ball type?" asked the clerk. "No," said the dumb man. "It's for my underarms."
Why did God create man? Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
How can you tell if a novel is homosexual? The hero always gets his man in the end.
Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.