The best jokes about men

Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.
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has 60.08 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: beer, men, political, science, women
An exhausted hunter out in the woods stumbled across another hunter. Hunter 1: "Am I glad to see you, I've been lost for three days." Hunter 2: "Don't get too excited, friend, I've been lost for three weeks."
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: hunting, men
Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married.
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has 59.83 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: fat, marriage, men, women
Men are like.....Bank Machines. Once they withdraw they lose interest.
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has 59.79 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: men
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: beauty, men, women
A widowed elderly lady was sunbathing on a beach in Fort Myers, FL. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand next to hers and began reading a book.  Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello sir, how are you today?" "Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.  "I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked. "First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago," he replied and turned back to his book. "I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away 3 years ago and it is very lonely," she countered. "Do you live around here?" she asked. "Yes, I live over in Cape Coral," he answered and again resumed reading.  Trying to find a topic of common interest, and noticing that his book was about veterinary medicine, she persisted, "Do you like pussy cats?" With that, the man dropped his book, jumped off his blanket and on to hers, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!  When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?" The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"
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has 59.29 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: age, husband, marriage, men, wife
Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
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has 59.20 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: fart, men, women
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That’s not surprising," the elders say. "You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here."
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: men
What does a man call true love? An erection.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: men
Why is a man different from a PC? You only have to tell the PC once.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: computer, men
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