The best jokes about men

Q: How big is a Republican-size bed? A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, men, republican, women
One day a man and a giraffe go to a pub they have a couple of drinks then on their way out the giraffe falls over and blocks the door the bar. Man says "you can leave that lion here." The man said "it's not a lion its a giraffe you idiot."
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, men, stupid
Ones the bus was full of people. A man looks at a lovely girl, she looks at him, he smiled, she did so, he told her get off at the next station, she did, he took her place.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car breakdown in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, couple, men
Why are all jokes about women one-liners? So men can understand them.
Vote: has 55.25 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, men, women
A widowed elderly lady was sunbathing on a beach in Fort Myers, FL. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand next to hers and began reading a book.  Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello sir, how are you today?" "Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.  "I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked. "First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago," he replied and turned back to his book. "I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away 3 years ago and it is very lonely," she countered. "Do you live around here?" she asked. "Yes, I live over in Cape Coral," he answered and again resumed reading.  Trying to find a topic of common interest, and noticing that his book was about veterinary medicine, she persisted, "Do you like pussy cats?" With that, the man dropped his book, jumped off his blanket and on to hers, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!  When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?" The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"
Vote: has 55.11 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, husband, marriage, men, wife
What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women
One man (lets call him Johnny) came to gun shop. J(ohnny):I want a pistol S(alesman):Choose from this wall (points at wall full of pistols) J: (points at biggest pistol) I want this, S: An .44 Magnum? And for what purpose? J: For shooting cans. S: (points on smaller handgun) For shooting cans is the best this one. J: (points again on .44) No, I want this one. S: And what cans will you shoot at? J: Um...Mexi-cans, Portori-cans, Afri-cans...
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A. They already have boyfriends.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, men
Knock knockrn Who's there? Woman who? Wo-man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke Knock knock. Who's there? Man. Man who? Man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: knock-knock, men, women