The best jokes about men

A man rushes out of his wife's hospital room. "Doctor, doctor -- my wife's been in a coma for several months, but when I just touched her left breast, she sighed!" "That's very encouraging," says the doctor. "Go back and touch her right breast. See if she reacts." A few minutes later, the man rushes out again: "Doctor, she moaned!" "Very good," says the doctor. "Now try oral sex. She should certainly react to that!" Five minutes later, the man comes out back out, white as a sheet. "Doctor -- she died." "No! What happened?" the doctor exclaims. "Well, doc," the man says tearfully, "she choked."
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men
A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. "This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent. "Okay, Sport," the guys says to the dog, "what’s on the top of a house?" "Roof!" the dog replies. "Oh, come on..." the talent agent responds. "All dogs go ‘roof’." "No, wait," the guy says. He asks the dog "what does sandpaper feel like?" "Rough!" the dog answers. The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He is losing his patience. "No, hang on," the guy says. "This one will amaze you. " He turns and asks the dog: "Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!" goes the dog. And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street. And the dog turns to the guy and says "Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men
Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week? Because the text on the nappies package said "18-40 lbs".
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: baby, husband, men
Boy will be boys but one day all girls will be women.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: bird, men
What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man? Big Foot's been spotted several times.
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has 56.50 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: men
Two gays were at a dance. As they were jigging about the floor with each other. Two massive guys entered the hall 6 foot 6 20 stone and full of muscle One gay asked his mate "Is that the bouncers that have just come in?" "No" grinned the other,"That's the raffle."
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, men, party
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? The man.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: men, sex
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
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has 56.02 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, fat, men, Santa, Thanksgiving
Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache." The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: doctor, men, sex
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