Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract.
How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Men are like.....Coffee The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
"What is the thickest book in the world? What Men Think They Know About Women."
What is a man's idea of helping with housework? Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under? A. Because deep down he's a good person.
Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night? He controls himself.
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones.
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A. One - men will screw anything. B. One - men will screw up anything. C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.