The best jokes about men

"What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?" "A Budweiser in each hand!"
Vote: has 47.97 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, men
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a State Policeman sees a car puttering along at 22 miles per hour. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver...
Vote: has 47.62 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
This french guy he wants to learn English. So one day he goes to an airport to learn "take off". Then he goes to the zoo to learn "zebra". Then he goes to the hospital "baby" So one day he walks up too a hot girl on a beach in a bikini and he said "Take off zebra baby" (take off the bra baby).
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired." Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them.
Vote: has 46.70 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, men
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again. The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
Vote: has 46.60 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dating, men
Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, relationship
I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks "Are you reading that?" I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.
Vote: has 46.10 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

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Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A. Breasts don't have eyes.
Vote: has 46.10 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men