What's the difference between a man and an ox? Fifteen pounds and a six-pack.
Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.
Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across? A: A double dirty crosser.
Men are like......Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
Chinese and American are in a plane. Suddenly, Chinese puts his shoes off and American is angry. After some time, he goes to buy a coke, but Chinese says that he'll do it. While he's gone, American spits into his shoes. Chinese gets back and American drinks his coke. That repeats a couple of times,and after the flight American admits, "I spitted in your shoes, sorry." Chinese answers, "That's how we do it. We spit in each others shoes, we piss into each others cokes..."
Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week? Because the text on the nappies package said "18-40 lbs".
Q: What is height of Stupidity? A: A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.