The best jokes about men

Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A: A dic-tater.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: food, men
Men are like.....Coffee The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men, money
Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, men, time
What's the difference between a man and an ox? Fifteen pounds and a six-pack.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
Wouldn’t it be great if men were made by Kodak! They would automatically shut off when they weren’t being used. You wouldn’t have to wait for them to recharge after each shot. They last longer and come with a warranty. You can try them out first for a two-week trial period and return them if not satisfied with no risks or hassle. They exist to capture the moment, not ruin it. They come in fashion colors. You can keep them in maximum zoom. They come with replaceable or adjustable parts. The parts that count are portable. They don’t mind over-exposure. They respond to the slightest touch. The one you want is available at a KMART near you.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to bed. So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber. The man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely." So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband. On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?" The woman gets up and enters the man's bed. The two make passionate love and afterwards the women rolls out. As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face. The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy idiot."
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, men, wife, work
Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across? A: A double dirty crosser.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, travel
Ones the bus was full of people. A man looks at a lovely girl, she looks at him, he smiled, she did so, he told her get off at the next station, she did, he took her place.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men
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