How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes.
And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
The man.
Q: The male sex has two hobbies. What are they?
A: His left hand and his right hand.
Vote:
Two men walked into a restaurant, the first one asks for tea.
The second also asks for tea.
"And make sure the glass is clean," he tells the waiter.
When the waiter returns with the two glasses of tea he asks, "Which one of you asked for the clean glass?"
Men are like a fine wine.
They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
Why do men like masturbation?
It's sex with someone they love.
How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three.
One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?
A: A dic-tater.