The best jokes about men

Why are all jokes about women one-liners? So men can understand them.
Vote: has 55.25 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, men, women
Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman? A: Too close to the gas chamber.
Vote: has 54.89 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, dirty, jewish, men, women
How can you tell if a man is aroused? He's breathing.
Vote: has 54.87 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. "This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent. "Okay, Sport," the guys says to the dog, "what’s on the top of a house?" "Roof!" the dog replies. "Oh, come on..." the talent agent responds. "All dogs go ‘roof’." "No, wait," the guy says. He asks the dog "what does sandpaper feel like?" "Rough!" the dog answers. The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He is losing his patience. "No, hang on," the guy says. "This one will amaze you. " He turns and asks the dog: "Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!" goes the dog. And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street. And the dog turns to the guy and says "Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends. One night, they both died in a terrible car accident. When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere. Very distraught, he ran to St. Peter and said, "St. Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can’t find him!" St. Peter said, "My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn’t make it to Heaven." This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time. St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hell with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other. John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, "Are you sure I’m in the right place?" "My son," St. Peter said, "looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of beer? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn’t!"
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, death, heaven, men
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, men
Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A:None, the sockets go with the house.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: divorce, light bulb, men
Two men walked into a restaurant, the first one asks for tea. The second also asks for tea. "And make sure the glass is clean," he tells the waiter. When the waiter returns with the two glasses of tea he asks, "Which one of you asked for the clean glass?"
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
What is a man's idea of helping with housework? Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men