"What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?"
"A Budweiser in each hand!"
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a State Policeman sees a car puttering along at 22 miles per hour.
He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"
So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver...
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to drop off, otherwise they are all going to fall.
They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as woman she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, and for men in general, without ever getting anything in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands.
A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired."
Everyone laughed.
The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone.
He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
Q: What is difference between man and Superman?
A: Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.
Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
Q: How does a man show he is planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer.
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.
Men are like.....Laxatives.
They irritate the shit out of you.