The best jokes about men

How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
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has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men
"What is the thickest book in the world? What Men Think They Know About Women."
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has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men
I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks "Are you reading that?" I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.
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has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men
Stupid? He wanted to be a farmer. So he studied pharmacy.
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has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men
Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under? A. Because deep down he's a good person.
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has 50.45 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men
John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends. One night, they both died in a terrible car accident. When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere. Very distraught, he ran to St. Peter and said, "St. Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can’t find him!" St. Peter said, "My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn’t make it to Heaven." This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time. St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hell with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other. John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, "Are you sure I’m in the right place?" "My son," St. Peter said, "looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of beer? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn’t!"
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, death, heaven, men
A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 foot 2 inches tall, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him. The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, "You can't believe her. He's 5 foot 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face." The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report. She replies, "Just because I reported him missing, doesn't mean I wanted him back!"
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cop, love, men
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
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has 49.49 % from 241 votes. More jokes about: men, sex
There are 5 birds in a tree. A hunter shoots 2 of them dead. How many birds are left? 2 birds. The other 3 fly away!
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: men
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a State Policeman sees a car puttering along at 22 miles per hour. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver...
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: men
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