Chinese and American are in a plane. Suddenly, Chinese puts his shoes off and American is angry. After some time, he goes to buy a coke, but Chinese says that he'll do it. While he's gone, American spits into his shoes. Chinese gets back and American drinks his coke. That repeats a couple of times,and after the flight American admits, "I spitted in your shoes, sorry." Chinese answers, "That's how we do it. We spit in each others shoes, we piss into each others cokes..."
Jennifer, wanna go to my place? I am not Jennifer But I didn't ask about that...
Men are like......Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are
This french guy he wants to learn English. So one day he goes to an airport to learn "take off". Then he goes to the zoo to learn "zebra". Then he goes to the hospital "baby" So one day he walks up too a hot girl on a beach in a bikini and he said "Take off zebra baby" (take off the bra baby).
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
Why are all jokes about women one-liners? So men can understand them.
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.
Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.