Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son?
Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl. 
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy?
A Saddle Light Dish.
Yo moma is so fat, and so nasty, when she sat down on the toilet, grown men fall out of her screaming "We're free! We're free!"
Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
This french guy he wants to learn English.
So one day he goes to an airport to learn "take off".
Then he goes to the zoo to learn "zebra".
Then he goes to the hospital "baby"
So one day he walks up too a hot girl on a beach in a bikini and he said "Take off zebra baby" (take off the bra baby).
Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest..
He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks "Are you reading that?" I didn’t know what to say.
So I said yes.
I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.
It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.