Chinese and American are in a plane.
Suddenly, Chinese puts his shoes off and American is angry.
After some time, he goes to buy a coke, but Chinese says that he'll do it.
While he's gone, American spits into his shoes.
Chinese gets back and American drinks his coke.
That repeats a couple of times,and after the flight American admits, "I spitted in your shoes, sorry."
Chinese answers, "That's how we do it. We spit in each others shoes, we piss into each others cokes..."
Jennifer, wanna go to my place?
I am not Jennifer
But I didn't ask about that...
Men are like......Bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy?
A Saddle Light Dish.
This french guy he wants to learn English.
So one day he goes to an airport to learn "take off".
Then he goes to the zoo to learn "zebra".
Then he goes to the hospital "baby"
So one day he walks up too a hot girl on a beach in a bikini and he said "Take off zebra baby" (take off the bra baby).
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Yo moma is so fat, and so nasty, when she sat down on the toilet, grown men fall out of her screaming "We're free! We're free!"
Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.