I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks "Are you reading that?" I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.
Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A. Breasts don't have eyes.
Q: How does a man show he is planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of beer.
Men are like.....Laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
They put one man on the moon. Why can’t they put them all there?
General Peter Pollock, the Navy Chief was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. General Pollock arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and Pollock asks: "So how are your men Marshall?" "Very well trained, Peter." "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too." "I'd like to see that." So Marshall calls an under-trainee and says: "James! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!" "Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As James ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered Pollock and said: "You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends.