A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
Men are like......Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week? Because the text on the nappies package said "18-40 lbs".
A couple was having an argument, and the man was losing badly. After 5 minutes the woman won the argument proving the man to be stupid, the man sadly says "If my proof falls then I rome through the halls." Then the woman leaves for 10 minutes and comes back starts giving him a blowjob. The man is confused and says "what are you doing?" She said "If I prove you dumb I give ya some." The man continues to lose a argument knowing he will get a blowjob after 10 minutes, and he did. Years later they have a kid but none of them want him so they have an argument of who takes care of it and the other leaves for good. The man without a thought loses the argument the get another blowjob, but after the argument the woman starts rapping "Yo yo guess who's the kid, not me so suck yourself bitch." Before she leaves the he says "what about the blowjob?" She says ask my twin sister that has herpes cause she did it the whole time.
Q. What do you call a sensitive, intelligent man? A. An oxymoron.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
Jennifer, wanna go to my place? I am not Jennifer But I didn't ask about that...
How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
"What is the thickest book in the world? What Men Think They Know About Women."