The best jokes about men

How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A. One - men will screw anything. B. One - men will screw up anything. C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
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has 52.77 % from 189 votes. More jokes about: marriage, math, men, wedding, women
Men are like......Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are
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has 52.50 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: age, food, men
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: beauty, men, women
Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week? Because the text on the nappies package said "18-40 lbs".
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: baby, husband, men
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again. The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
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has 51.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dating, men
Q. What do you call a sensitive, intelligent man? A. An oxymoron.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts." The doctor asks, "What do you mean?" The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts." The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you. You've broken your finger!"
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men
Jennifer, wanna go to my place? I am not Jennifer But I didn't ask about that...
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men, women
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