I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
Did you hear about the gay French General? He blew Napoleon's Bonaparte!
Q: Did you hear that Saddam Hussein won the toss ? A: He elected to receive.
Q: Where does a general keep his armies? A: Up his sleevies.
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole? A: Bestiality
There was a man who just got out of the army. He was really horny and only had $5, so he went to a whore house. He told the women, "Gimme anything you got." So then he is having sex with this women and says "Gosh, you're really rough inside." She says "Hold on" and she goes to the bathroom. 10 minutes later she comes back and they start to do it again. He says "Now you're really smooth. What happened?" She says, "I picked off all the scabs."
Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
Human blood type is usualy 0+, A+ or AB... Chuck Norris blood tipe is AK-47
Iran reveals a plan to test its first Chuck Norris within a week.
The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. Well, sir," is the reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... urges. That's why we have the camel,sir." "The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges, and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent . Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has sex with the camel. When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?" "No sir," the First Sergeant replies. "They usually just ride the camel into town."