The best military jokes

Q: Where does a general keep his armies? A: Up his sleevies.
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has 51.56 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: military
There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom. The Marine goes to leave without washing up. The sailor catches up with him later and says, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands." The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they teach us not to pee on ours!"
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has 51.00 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: dirty, military, navy
Q: In the Navy, how do they separate the men from the boys? A: With a crowbar.
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has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: military
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. “Why, my outfit was so well drilled,” declared one, “that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click.” “Very good,” conceded the other, “but when my company presented arms you’d just hear slap, slap, jingle.” “What was the jingle?” asked the first. “Oh,” replied the other offhand, “just our medals.”
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: military
The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. Well, sir," is the reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... urges. That's why we have the camel,sir." "The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges, and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent . Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has sex with the camel. When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?" "No sir," the First Sergeant replies. "They usually just ride the camel into town."
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has 50.00 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, military, women
Did you hear about the gay French General? He blew Napoleon's Bonaparte!
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has 49.86 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: military
What do you call 35,000 men with their hands up? "Iraqi Army."
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has 49.74 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: military
Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military
Q: Did you hear that Saddam Hussein won the toss ? A: He elected to receive.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: military
What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar? He got bombed.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: bar, military
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