Iran reveals a plan to test its first Chuck Norris within a week.
Q: Did you hear that Saddam Hussein won the toss ? A: He elected to receive.
Did you hear about the gay French General? He blew Napoleon's Bonaparte!
What do you call 35,000 men with their hands up? "Iraqi Army."
There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom. The Marine goes to leave without washing up. The sailor catches up with him later and says, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands." The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they teach us not to pee on ours!"
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
During the Iraq War, As a soldier was saying good-bye to his family, his five-year-old son, James, held his leg and started pleading not to leave. "No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating. They were beginning to make a scene when his wife, desperate to calm him, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza." Immediately, James loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy."
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole? A: Bestiality
Q: Where does a general keep his armies? A: Up his sleevies.
America doesn't need a military... We've got Chuck Norris