Q: Where does a general keep his armies? A: Up his sleevies.
Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common ? A: They both have Kurds in their Whey.
Did you hear about the gay French General? He blew Napoleon's Bonaparte!
There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom. The Marine goes to leave without washing up. The sailor catches up with him later and says, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands." The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they teach us not to pee on ours!"
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. “Why, my outfit was so well drilled,” declared one, “that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click.” “Very good,” conceded the other, “but when my company presented arms you’d just hear slap, slap, jingle.” “What was the jingle?” asked the first. “Oh,” replied the other offhand, “just our medals.”
One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.
Q: Did you hear that Saddam Hussein won the toss ? A: He elected to receive.
What do you call 35,000 men with their hands up? "Iraqi Army."
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole? A: Bestiality
What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar? He got bombed.