The best military jokes

Iran reveals a plan to test its first Chuck Norris within a week.
Vote:
has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military
At school, a soldier spoke to Johnny's class. Johnny felt enthusiastic about joining the military, so he went home and told his dad. To his surprise, this was the biggest step forward in his life, so his dad decided to explain the military to him. "Son, I'll teach you what you need to know about the military. The Army and Navy are the only two REAL branches of our military. The Marine Corps is a cult. The Coast Guard is playing a game called 'Pretend Navy Since 1915'." So Johnny asks his dad, "what about the Air Force?" Johnny's dad explained to him, "well son, the Air Force is like a giant corporation. Just a bunch of people sitting at desks playing Flight Simulator and bullshitting with each other." By that time, Johnny was amazed and decided he wanted to join the military, but wanted to know what his daddy did. "What did you do in the military, dad?" "Well son, I spoke Chinese and shot at the Americans in Vietnam."
Vote:
has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: air force, little Johnny, military, navy, school
A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
Vote:
has 46.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military
Q: What is the best Iraqi job ? A: Foreign Ambassador.
Vote:
has 45.89 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: military
Human blood type is usualy 0+, A+ or AB... Chuck Norris blood tipe is AK-47
Vote:
has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military
A private was brought up before the unit CO for some offence. ‘You can take your choice, Private – one month’s restriction or twenty days’ pay,’ said the officer. ‘All right, sir,’ said the bright soldier, ‘I’ll take the money.’
Vote:
has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: military
There was a man who just got out of the army. He was really horny and only had $5, so he went to a whore house. He told the women, "Gimme anything you got." So then he is having sex with this women and says "Gosh, you're really rough inside." She says "Hold on" and she goes to the bathroom. 10 minutes later she comes back and they start to do it again. He says "Now you're really smooth. What happened?" She says, "I picked off all the scabs."
Vote:
has 44.74 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, military, money
Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile ? A: Aeroflot has killed more people.
Vote:
has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: military
Chuck Norris once joined the Army. That's how the motto, "An Army of One" was created.
Vote:
has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military
America doesn't need a military... We've got Chuck Norris
Vote:
has 43.46 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military
<<<15161718
More jokes →
Page 15 of 19.