The best money jokes

Your so poor, I stepped in your house and stepped on a cigarette, and your mom said, "Who turned of the lights".
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money, Yo mama
An elderly retired couple went to a doctor. The man said, "We want to know if we are making love properly. Will you look at us?" "Go ahead," said the doctor. They made love. "You are making love perfectly," the doctor said. "That will be $10." They came back six weeks in a row and did the same thing. On the seventh visit the doctor said, "What are you coming here like this for - I told you that you are making love properly!" "She can't come to my house," said the man, "and I can't go to her house. A motel costs $20. You charge us $10 and we get $8 back from Medicare."
Vote: has 57.35 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, love, money, old people
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"
Vote: has 57.17 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
Is everything expensive or I'm just poor?
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.” “Really,” answered the neighbor. “What kind is it?” “Twelve thirty.”
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money, old people, time
A blonde walks into a drugstore and purchases a pack of condoms. "That will be $1.08, please," says the clerk. "What are the eight cents for?" asks the blonde. "It says one dollar right here on the packaging." "Tax," replies the clerk. "Gee," says the blonde, "I thought you just rolled them on and they stayed put."
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, drug, money, tax
How much money did the bronco have? Only a buck!
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, money
Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money. "I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, money, technology
There was a fire at the local tax office but the fire brigade managed to put it out before any serious good was done.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she farts, her holey underwear whistles.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fart, insulting, money, Yo mama


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