The best money jokes

I like black people . . . . . I used to have some black friends 'till my dad sold them!
Vote: has 54.00 % from 192 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, dad, money
You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.
Vote: has 53.78 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, weed
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!" The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to." The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine." So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, I'd like a mild heart attack."
Vote: has 53.77 % from 367 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, golf, husband, money, sex
Willy: "Mom, are our neighbors very poor people? Mother: "I don't think so, Willy. Why do you ask?" Willy: "Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin."
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, kids, money
I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance she leaned over and pushed me.
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More jokes about: money
This desperate guy named Jim goes to the whorehouse with 5$. He buys a the cheapest prostitute named Sandpaper Sally. As they start to have sex, Jim screams, "Ouch! Now I know why they call you Sandpaper Sally!" Sally scoots out of the room. Five minutes later she came back and Jim attempts sex once again. "What the hell happened?" asks Jim, "This is the best sex I''ve ever had!" Sally replies, "Oh, I just picked my scabs."
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, money, sex
Q: What kind of money do elves use? A: Jingle bills!
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More jokes about: elf, money
You know who's mad at Kobe? Every other player in the NBA. You know why? Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring. Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum. Cause you know how women are, man. Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: mean, money, sport, women
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles & pay to make my kids walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: driving, kids, money
How to tell who is Jewish in your class, drop a penny and see who gets their first.
Vote: has 53.46 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: jewish, money, racist