Insurance companies are trying to set new guidelines before approving Viagra coverage. What will they use to set those guidelines? A growth chart.
If I won the Lottery, I wouldn’t be one of those people who immediately quit their jobs. I’d make my boss’s life a living hell for a week or two first.
Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!
Yo mama is so poor that she has to take the trash IN.
Moody was awakened by the telephone at four A.M. It was his Ku Klux Klan buddy, Crumm, calling long distance from Montgomery. "What's the matter?" asked Moody. "Are you in trouble?" "No!" said Crumm. "What do you want, then?" "Nothing!" "Then how come you are calling me in the middle of the night?" asked Moody. "Cause!" said the other redneck, "the rates are cheaper!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Cash. Cash who? Yes! I've always known you were a bit nutty!
How much money did the bronco have? Only a buck!
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles & pay to make my kids walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
The teacher asks a student "If you have $5 and billy takes $3, how much do you have left?" The student replies "Not enough for fucking lunch and billy ain't gonna have no got damn teeth left stealing my 3 dollars."
An young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. After sex the girl said, "I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'am actually a hooker, and I charge $100 for what we just did." The man retorted, "And I should have mentioned this before, but I'am actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $200."