The best money jokes

Yo mama is so poor that she has to take the trash IN.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
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A blonde was trying to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, “There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it’s not legal.” “That doesn’t matter,” replied the blonde, “if I can only sell the car.” “Okay,” said the brunette. “Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will ‘fix it’. Then you shouldn’t have a problem anymore trying to sell your car.” The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, “Did you sell your car?” “No,” replied the blonde, “Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!”
Vote: has 58.52 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What is a Democratic Free Market? A: One that hands out slices of cheese.
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: democrat, food, money, political
George meets a genie in the street, which tells him to make a wish and it will make it true. "I want to pee whiskey," he says. “But are you sure? You can ask for money, wealth, anything you want." "No I want to pee whiskey." The genie thinks what can it do, it makes his wish true. George goes home, calls his wife, Sue: "Woman, get nuts and two glasses." Curious she was, she brings them. "What do you want them? She asks him. Once we don’t have any drinks." From now on, we will both have as much whiskey as we want, says to her. And really he fills the two glasses with whiskey. They clink, drink one, drink two drinks, make some fun … and play a little game. The other night the same happen. "Woman, bring two glasses and nuts." So they spend their evenings. One night, however, the scene changed. "Woman, bring nuts and a cup." "A, for one?" "You will drink from the bottle today."
Vote: has 58.42 % from 47 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, game, money, women
Customer: “My youngest son was surfing the web last night and to my shock he was at a British comedy site.” Tech Support: “Yes, what is the problem?” Customer: “The ‘.uk’ at the end — doesn’t that stand for United Kingdom?” Tech Support: “Yes.” Customer: “Just great — I knew it! He’s in trouble now! He was there for almost a half hour! How much does AOL charge for long distance?” Tech Support: “It does not work that way. You can surf anywhere without long distance charges.” Customer: “No, I am sure AOL charges extra. It doesn’t make any sense that they wouldn’t. England is a long way away, they would lose millions not to.” After trying to explain how the web worked, the customer refused to take my word and said she was going to call AOL. A while later she called back. Customer: “Well, AOL said you were correct; no long distance charge for overseas web sites. I do have another question I thought of after I hung up with AOL.” Tech Support: “Yes?” Customer: “Do you think they charge extra for long distance email?” Tech Support: “Trust me — they don’t.” Customer: “Wonderful! My oldest son works in Sweden. He sends us email, but I was always afraid to reply because I didn’t know how much it would cost, so I just called him on the phone. This will save us lots of money! Still if AOL was smart they would charge for this service.”
Vote: has 58.09 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: computer, IT, money, phone
An young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. After sex the girl said, "I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'am actually a hooker, and I charge $100 for what we just did." The man retorted, "And I should have mentioned this before, but I'am actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $200."
Vote: has 58.06 % from 63 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
Yo' Mama is so poor, she steals her breakfast from backyard bird feeders.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bird, insulting, money, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so poor, she only goes to the grocery store for free samples.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
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Yo' Mama is like a bus: she's big, she stinks, and it's only a dollar to ride.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
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Yo' Mama is so skanky, when the waiter brought out her strip steak, she asked where to tuck the dollar bills.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, money, Yo mama


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