The best money jokes

I’m proud to say I made my money the old-fashioned way. My dad left it to me in his will.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

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I’ve just come into some money. I wonder if they’ll still accept it at the shop?
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What kind of money do marsupials use? Pocket change!
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

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I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd like to but they insist on money.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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What king of money do fishermen make? Net profits!
Vote: has 39.32 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"
Vote: has 37.02 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

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Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. "I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."
Vote: has 36.90 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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Well goodnight everyone. I have to get up early tomorrow to do nothing and still make more money than all of you!
Vote: has 36.64 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, political, republican
A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks. This beautiful lady sits down next to him. He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it. You and me, gettin it on. I've got a couple dollars and it looks like you could use a little money." She stands up and says, "What makes you think I charge by the inch."
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beauty, money, women
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
Vote: has 35.66 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, kids, money