What’s the difference between a pigeon and a tramp?
The pigeon can put a deposit on a Porsche.
All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money doesn’t buy happiness...All most people want is a chance to prove money can’t make them happy.
William: May I have some money for the man crying outside ?
Mum: What crying man ?
William: The one that's crying, 'Ice cream! Ice Cream !'
Money is not everything.
There’s also MasterCard and Visa.
What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire?
A very witch person.
Yo momma is so poor the ducks throw bread at her.
An old Jewish beggar was out on the street, begging with his tin cup.
A man passed by and the beggar said to the man, "Sir, could you spare 3 cents for a cup of coffee?"
And the man said, "Where do get coffee for 3 cents?"
And the beggar said, "Who buys retail?"
There is the story of a preacher who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation:
"I have good news and bad news.
The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program.
The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing.
I told you he was a bum steer.
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four.
One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.