A man is talking to the tax inspector who’s come to review his records. The inspector says, ‘As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to pay them with a smile.’ ‘Thank God for that,’ replies the man. ‘I thought you were going to ask for cash.’
Q: Why do Jews have so big noses? A: Because the air is free.
Three boys were walking along the beach one day when they see a cave. The first boy goes in and is looking at a banknote on a big rock when a ghostly voice calls out '' I am the ghost of Auntie Abel and this five dollars stays on the table!'' The second boy goes in and is reaching for the money when the same thing happens again. The third boy goes in ,sees the five dollars and cries out,''I am the ghost of David Crockett and this five dollars goes in my pocket!''
Where do fish keep their money? In a river bank!
What kind of money do marsupials use? Pocket change!
Yo' Mama is so poor, her tv only has two channels: on and not working.
What king of money do fishermen make? Net profits!
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?" The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had." The bartender says, "What do you have?" The guy says, "75 cents."