The best money jokes

No matter how hard we try, we never seem to save any money. Our neighbours are always buying something we can’t afford.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: money
Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump. "Well, go in the bushes." "What should I use to wipe my ass?" "Use a dollar bill." A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with s**t all over his hands. "What happened?" asks his friend. "I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters."
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, hunting, money
Getting money out of my father was like taking candy from a baby. He used to scream and cry like hell.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: money
Three boys were walking along the beach one day when they see a cave. The first boy goes in and is looking at a banknote on a big rock when a ghostly voice calls out '' I am the ghost of Auntie Abel and this five dollars stays on the table!'' The second boy goes in and is reaching for the money when the same thing happens again. The third boy goes in ,sees the five dollars and cries out,''I am the ghost of David Crockett and this five dollars goes in my pocket!''
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: money
A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100." The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire? A very witch person.
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: money
Yo momma is so poor the ducks throw bread at her.
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: duck, money, Yo mama
A gay American was caught by his Filipino gay husband cheating. The American husband asked, "how did you find out?" The Filipino husband replied, "through my Western Union Receipts."
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has 43.58 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: gay, geography, marriage, money
A guy dials his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don’t have a maid!" "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house." "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" "Ummm…she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband." The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" "What do I have to do?" "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she’s with." The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?" "Throw them in the swimming pool!" "What pool?”" "Uh.. is this 832-4173?"
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has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: money, phone, women, work
Where do fish keep their money? In a river bank!
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: money
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