The best money jokes

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Vote:
has 38.55 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
What are Women Really Thinking? So many men, so few who can afford me. Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better rich. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen. Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares? And your point is? Next mood swing: 6 minutes. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
Vote:
has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage, money, time
Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
Vote:
has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, money
Your mama so old she still owes Jesus five bucks.
Vote:
has 37.68 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: age, christian, money, old people, Yo mama
How do you know you’re flying over the poorer part of town? You see toilet paper hanging on the clothes lines.
Vote:
has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: money
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. "I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."
Vote:
has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, money
A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong. "Ohhh, it's my girlfriend." "What's the problem?" "When I asked her if she could learn to love me, she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education."
Vote:
has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: love, money, relationship
Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
Vote:
has 35.91 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
Change is hard. Have you ever tried to bend a coin?
Vote:
has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: money
A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks. This beautiful lady sits down next to him. He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it. You and me, gettin it on. I've got a couple dollars and it looks like you could use a little money." She stands up and says, "What makes you think I charge by the inch."
Vote:
has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beauty, money, women
<<<72737475
More jokes →
Page 72 of 86.