The best money jokes

What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild? Money.
has 37.73 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: money, women
Your mama so old she still owes Jesus five bucks.
has 37.68 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: age, christian, money, old people, Yo mama
Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
has 36.89 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. "I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."
has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, money
What are Women Really Thinking? So many men, so few who can afford me. Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better rich. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen. Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares? And your point is? Next mood swing: 6 minutes. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage, money, time
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first place."
has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: money, travel
How do you know you’re flying over the poorer part of town? You see toilet paper hanging on the clothes lines.
has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: money
Elmore walked into his favorite truck stop cafe and said to the owner, "Hey, Roy, you wanna take a chance on a raffle?" "Whada ya win?" "A million dollars!" said the redneck. "You get a dollar a year for a million years." "How much are they each?" "Ten cents. Two for a quarter. Or three for half a dollar!"
has 36.34 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: money, redneck, time
Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, money
Change is hard. Have you ever tried to bend a coin?
has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: money
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