Patient: "How much do you charge for extracting a tooth?" Doctor: "Fifty rupees." Patient: "Fifty ruppes, for only a few second’s work?" Doctor: "Well, I will do it very slowly." Patient: "How much is for the operation?" Doctor: "Rupees on thousand." Patient: "But it was a serious one." Doctor: "Nonsense. You can’t buy a serious operation for Rupees one Thousand now-a days."
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"
Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. ' You should give that money to charity,' said the shopkeeper. 'No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity!'
Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open? She'd read there was going to be some change in the weather.
If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.
Why do people like to borrow money in Alaska? Because they have Fairbanks!
Why did the mobster put his money in the freezer? He liked cold hard cash!
Harry to Tom: ‘My uncle died last week. Left me sod all.’ Tom: ‘Wow. Sod Hall. How many rooms has it got?’
I make money the old-fashioned way. My salary is the same as it was ten years ago
A couple are arguing over money. ‘Do you know,’ says the man. ‘If it weren’t for my money this house wouldn’t be here at all.’ ‘Yes,’ says his wife. ‘And if it weren’t for your money neither would I.’