The best money jokes

My grandfather came from a very poor family. The only time he tasted meat was when he bit his tongue.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
We were so poor we couldn’t get rid of the roaches in our house because they paid half the rent.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
There will always be death and taxes. However, death doesn’t get worse every year.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."
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has 30.11 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: money
It's legal to earn money playing hockey Many people play hockey even after they're married The puck's always hard The protective equipment is reusable It lasts at least an hour A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon You always know how big the stick is You can clean your stick in public without anyone minding You can change players on the fly You don't have to be embarrassed if you don't get the puck up Everyone is finished when the buzzer sounds Your parents cheer when you score Periods last only 20 minutes You're sure to get it at least twice a week You can tell your friends about it afterwards.
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: marriage, money, sport, time
"Hello" "Hello" "Is that you, James?" "Yes, this is James." "Are you sure this is James." "Yes I'm sure, this is James!" "This is Robert... can you lend me twenty dollars?" "I'll tell James when he comes in."
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: money
Patient: "How much do you charge for extracting a tooth?" Doctor: "Fifty rupees." Patient: "Fifty ruppes, for only a few second’s work?" Doctor: "Well, I will do it very slowly." Patient: "How much is for the operation?" Doctor: "Rupees on thousand." Patient: "But it was a serious one." Doctor: "Nonsense. You can’t buy a serious operation for Rupees one Thousand now-a days."
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, money
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. ' You should give that money to charity,' said the shopkeeper. 'No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity!'
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: food, money
Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open? She'd read there was going to be some change in the weather.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money, teacher, weather
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