The best money jokes

I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd like to but they insist on money.
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: money, tax
If you want to know God’s opinion of money just look at the people He gave it to.
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: money
What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild? Money.
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has 36.46 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: money, women
A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong. "Ohhh, it's my girlfriend." "What's the problem?" "When I asked her if she could learn to love me, she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education."
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: love, money, relationship
Q: Why did hitter kill himself? A: Because he could not pay the gas bill.
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has 35.99 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, money, morbid
Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
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has 35.91 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire? Sure. Here you are. Thanks - but half the pages are missing. What's the matter? Isn't half a million enough for you?
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: money
One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. (Oh, c'mon, I'm sure there's one buried in your desk too.) Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out. So he rubbed the lamp and - oh, surprise out popped a genie. The genie asked, as genies will, "What is your first wish?" The government worker thought about it for a second, then replied, "I would like to be rich!" So the genie granted him his wish, and poof the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates. Since the government worker knew the whole wish process, the genie didn't even have to ask for number two before he said, "My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!" And poof, he was there. Then the government worker or, as I like to call him, civil servant decided on his third wish, "I don't want to do any work ever again!" and poof ubiquitous ironic twist he was back in his office.
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has 35.51 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: genie, life, money, political, work
You will never see a car worth over $10,000 with an Obama sticker on the back.
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has 35.37 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: car, money, political, republican
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, money
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