The best money jokes

Elmore walked into his favorite truck stop cafe and said to the owner, "Hey, Roy, you wanna take a chance on a raffle?" "Whada ya win?" "A million dollars!" said the redneck. "You get a dollar a year for a million years." "How much are they each?" "Ten cents. Two for a quarter. Or three for half a dollar!"
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has 30.36 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: money, redneck, time
It's legal to earn money playing hockey Many people play hockey even after they're married The puck's always hard The protective equipment is reusable It lasts at least an hour A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon You always know how big the stick is You can clean your stick in public without anyone minding You can change players on the fly You don't have to be embarrassed if you don't get the puck up Everyone is finished when the buzzer sounds Your parents cheer when you score Periods last only 20 minutes You're sure to get it at least twice a week You can tell your friends about it afterwards.
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: marriage, money, sport, time
"Hello" "Hello" "Is that you, James?" "Yes, this is James." "Are you sure this is James." "Yes I'm sure, this is James!" "This is Robert... can you lend me twenty dollars?" "I'll tell James when he comes in."
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: money
Patient: "How much do you charge for extracting a tooth?" Doctor: "Fifty rupees." Patient: "Fifty ruppes, for only a few second’s work?" Doctor: "Well, I will do it very slowly." Patient: "How much is for the operation?" Doctor: "Rupees on thousand." Patient: "But it was a serious one." Doctor: "Nonsense. You can’t buy a serious operation for Rupees one Thousand now-a days."
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, money
At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army.
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has 29.10 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: money
Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. ' You should give that money to charity,' said the shopkeeper. 'No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity!'
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: food, money
Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open? She'd read there was going to be some change in the weather.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money, teacher, weather
If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
Why do people like to borrow money in Alaska? Because they have Fairbanks!
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
Why did the mobster put his money in the freezer? He liked cold hard cash!
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
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