The best money jokes

A guy goes into an antique shop. He's browsing around the shop and comes across a brass rat. He picks up the rat and is looking at it when the shop owner approaches him. He asks the owner how much the Brass Rat is. The shop owner says $20 For the rat and $10 for the story behind it. The customers say I don't need to know the story but I'll buy the rat. So he pays for the rat and leaves the shop. After about 50 yards he hears a Wierd noise behind him and so looks around. There's a bunch of rats following him so he picks up the pace a walks faster but the noise gets louder. He glances behind and there are hundreds of rats following him so he starts to run. Still, the noise gets louder and there are thousands of rats chasing him. He comes to a bridge over the river and thinks the rats are chasing him because of the Brass Rat, he has so he throws the rat as far as he can into the river. All the rats that were chasing him then all jump into the river and drown. The guy thinks for a while and then walks back to the shop. As he enters the shop the owner who saw him coming said I bet you came back for the story behind the Brass Rat did you? The customer says no I didn't. Have you got a brass Nigger?
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has 28.78 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, business, customer service, money, racist
Should you trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent?
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: money
A local charity organization realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the donation seeker mumbled, "Um ... no." The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The person coming for donation began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again. "or that my sister`s husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer`s voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!" The person who came asking for donation felt completely humiliated and said simply, "I had no idea..." On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don`t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"
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has 28.11 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: death, kids, lawyer, medical, money
How do you hide your money from a mexican?
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has 27.83 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: money, racist
The best way of saving money is to forget who you borrowed it from.
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has 27.32 % from 5 votes. More jokes about: money
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…
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has 27.32 % from 5 votes. More jokes about: money
‘He’s spending a year dead for tax purposes.’ Douglas Adams
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has 27.32 % from 5 votes. More jokes about: money
A husband gives his wife a complete mink outfit for her birthday – a 12-bore shotgun and some traps.
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has 27.32 % from 5 votes. More jokes about: money
One evening, a Counselor saw Max on his hands and knees. 'What are you doing?' she asked. 'I'm looking for my dollar bill,' Max replied. 'I lost it down the road.' 'Why don't you look for it there?' 'Because the light's better here!'
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: money
Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money. I shall be everlastingly in your debt. Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: money
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