The best money jokes

‘He’s spending a year dead for tax purposes.’ Douglas Adams
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has 27.32 % from 5 votes. More jokes about: money
A husband gives his wife a complete mink outfit for her birthday – a 12-bore shotgun and some traps.
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has 27.32 % from 5 votes. More jokes about: money
One evening, a Counselor saw Max on his hands and knees. 'What are you doing?' she asked. 'I'm looking for my dollar bill,' Max replied. 'I lost it down the road.' 'Why don't you look for it there?' 'Because the light's better here!'
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: money
Change is hard. Have you ever tried to bend a coin?
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: money
When does a female deer need money? When she doesnt have a buck.
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has 26.16 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
Why is money called dough? Because we all knead it.
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has 26.16 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money
Q: What did the fool do with his first 50 cent piece? A: He Married Her
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has 26.11 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, marriage, money
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?" The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking. "You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have." The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?" The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."
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has 25.67 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, money
The proprietor of the general store at the cross-roads had his place overrun by rats, and the damage was such that he offered a hundred dollars reward to anyone who would rid him of the pests. A disreputable-appearing person turned up one morning, and announced that he was a professional rat-killer. "Get to work," the store-keeper urged. "I must have a pound of cheese," the killer declared. When this had been provided: "Now give me a quart of whiskey." Equipped with the whiskey, the professional spoke briskly: "Now show me the cellar." An hour elapsed, and then the rat-catcher galloped up the cellar stairs and leaped into the store. His face was red, the eyes glaring, and he shook his fists in defiance of the world at large, as he jumped high in air and shouted: "Whoopee! I'm ready! bring on your rats!"
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, money
Why did the millionaire count his money with his toes? So it wouldn't slip through his fingers!
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money
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