Three statisticians are out hunting. Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away. The first statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the left. The second statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the right. The third statistician starts jumping up and down, yelling "We got him! We got him!"
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.
A programmer had a problem. He decided to use Java. He now has a ProblemFactory.
Q: Why did the computer go to the dentist? A: Because it had Bluetooth.
Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar? A: He got Avogadro's number!
Hide a seek champion... ; Since 1958
Q: What will my computer printer warranty cover? A: Your mouse pad.
Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.
Infinity mathematicians came to bar. First one ordered 1 glass of beer, second a half, third a quarter... The barman interrupted them: "Assholes, here are 2 beers!"