A mouse and an elephant are walking through the forest.
The elephant falls in a hole so the mouse gets his Porsche throws a rope down into the hole and pulls the elephant out.
So they continue walking and the mouse falls into a hole.
The elephant throws his dick into the hole and the mouse climbs out.
Moral of the story: if you have a big enough dick you don't need a Porsche.
A daughter wakes up at 3 a.m. and asks her mother:
"Mummy, tell me a fairy-tale."
"Daddy will get back soon and he will tell both of us a fairy tale..."
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Paddy and Murphy were doing a crossword.
Paddy asks, "How do you spell paint"?
Murphy replies, "What color?"
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Chuck Norris can rotate text in MS Paint.
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Q: What is another name for a gynecologist?
A: A private investigator.
My blonde girlfriend went to the doctors this morning and was told she had two weeks to live.
She chose last week and this week.
Q: How do Asians name their babies?
A: They throw a can down the stairs.
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Yo Mama so hairy, when she shaved her legs, your dad thought she got a new carpet.
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Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
A: The location of the dirtbag.
Q: What is the most dangerous part of a motorcycle?
A: The nut between the seat and the handlebars.
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