Q: What is a difference between "accident " and "tragedy"? A: Suppose you with the family are beside a pool. You suddenly push your mother in law into the pool - so it's an accident. If she could swim and gets out, in that case, it's a tragedy!
Q: How do u know a black person has been in your house? A: Everything has gone.
One day Sven walks into the local pub and announces, "Well boys Svens is getting married." As you can imagine all of Sven's' friends were very happy for Sven's good fortune and they asked, "Who's the lucky girl?" Sven replied, "Well I am a marrying Madge." Well, this upset all of Sven's friends because Madge was nothing but a slut, and they all cried. "Sven you can't marry Madge, she's not a nice girl!" "Sven replied, "Oh ya, Sven's in love and he's a getting married." And his friends persisted, "Sven, Madge is a woman of low morals." Sven just grinned and replied, "Oh ya ya ya, but I love Madge." Finally, his friends had enough and in unison cried out, "But Sven, Madge has been screwed by every man in town!" "Oh ya ya ya," said Sven, "But it's not that big of a town."
What you call a wrecking ball, Chuck Norris calls a punching bag.
When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
Q: If a black guy is driving a bicycle why shouldn't I hit him? A: Because it's probably my bicycle.
Jesus walks into an inn and hands the innkeeper 3 nails and says "Can you put me up for the night?"
Two girlfriends meet again after a few years. One is pushing around a baby buggy. The first girlfriend looks at the baby and is perplexed. "Black skin? Blue slit eyes? A blonde afro? How did you do that?" Murmurs the other woman. "Damn gangbang! At least he doesn't bark!"
Q: What do you call a baby Mexican? A: A paragraph because he's too short to be an essay!