Your mom so dumb she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
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The bartender said "Sorry,we don't serve time travelers."
Two time travelers walk into a bar.
The cannibals on the island Borneo have caught and after that have grilled one gypsy boy on a turnspit.
They had to turn him really quickly above the burning fire because at a slower speed of rotation he managed to steal the potatoes from the live coal.
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Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: All of them cause they will never see the light.
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The waitress asked how I would like my coffee.
I told her: "like my woman - hot and black".
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Yo mama so fat, her ID pic had to be taken in panoramic mode.
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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza.
A: One comes out of the oven alive.
Q: Why is Santa always so jolly?
A: He knows where all the naughty girls live.
A guy went to a supermarket and began to smoke.
Miss salesman: "Sir don't smoke here."
Guy: "I've just bought the cigarettes from here."
Miss salesman: "We sell condoms too; so that is not why you fuck me here."
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3 old friends meet each other unexpectedly in Paris.
Since they haven't seen each other in decades, they decide to celebrate by going out.
They decide that they would go to the Eiffel Tower.
When they arrived, there was a guard there next to a sign that read "if you can drop your watch from the top of the Eiffel Tower, run all the way down the stairs and catch it on the floor, you will win 10 million dollars.
The men decided to try it.
The first one went up, dropped his watch, sprinted all the way down and looked up, but his watch wasn't there, so he looked down and there was his watch, shattered into pieces of gears and parts.
"Impossible," he said to his friends.
The second Man thought that maybe he was too slow, so he went up, dropped his watch, then practically jumped Down the steps, and looked up, but it wasn't there.
He looked down, and the remains of his watch were right next to his friends' watch. "Impossible," he said to the third man.
But the third man tried anyway.
He went up, dropped his watch, then took his time going down, taking 25 minutes to get down the steps.
When he finally went down, he looked at the local clock and waited 5 minutes, then he looked up and caught his watch.
Everyone was shocked, and as the guard was counting up the money, he asked: "how did you do that?"
The man looked at him and replied: "my watch is 30 minutes late."
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