New jokes

When Light wrote Chuck Norris' name in the Death Note, the book died.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
So this retarded blind couple just lives in Guantanamo Bay. The prison warden told us soon these little fishies would grow gills. So we have been feeding our fishies since 911 they all been fed really well. In our daily water events until I told my wife, "there is a problem these fish haven't grown any gills." So we told the Warden and he laughed he said: "you know what you've been doing since 911 the blind couple relied on what!" The warden replied, "well you've been waterboarding convicted isis terrorists!" The blind couple said, "what happens to the fishes?" The warden replied, "well they are dead of course!"
Vote: has 35.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, fish, health, prison, terrorist
Suzy asked her big sister Samantha how babies are made. Samantha explains it to her. "I still don't get it? Can you show me." Suzy says. "OK. Tonight, I will let you watch will my boyfriend, Jack and I screw." That night, Jack laid Samantha 5 times but Suzy still didn't understand. The next night Jack was tired of Suzy watching so he offered to have sex with her. "OK but I don't want Samantha to watch" So Samantha went outside. They are in there for almost an hour and when they come out Jack is smiling like crazy. "That was fun but I still don't get it." Says Suzy The next day the same thing happened. And the next day. Finally 2 weeks later Samantha comes home crying. "Whats wrong," Suzy says. "Jack dumped me. He said there was someone better." Said Samantha. "Let's go talk to him maybe we can change his mind," said Suzy. When they got there Jack said he made up his mind and there was nothing they could do to change it. Then he asked to speak to Suzy privately. He pulled off all of Suzy's clothes and started to screw her. "OK," Jack said kissing Suzy's neck "I broke up with Samantha now tell me how you got to be so good in bed." "Fine." She replied, "I asked all my other sisters how babies are made."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, kids, sex, stupid, time
Chuck Norris once jumped. Now we have seven Continents and a tilted planet.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, geography
That recent tsunami was caused when Chuck Norris dropped a pebble into the ocean.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, technology, weather
Hurricanes are really just Chuck Norris breathing into the rain.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
Your mommas so fat when criminals break out of jail they hide behind her.
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, insulting, prison, Yo mama
A really bad impressionist walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the wrong face?"
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, beauty, communication
I don't like the term "anal bleaching". I prefer "changing your ringtone."
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, disgusting
We should've known communism would fail. There were a lot of red flags.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: political, time


<<<9101112
More jokes →
Page 9 of 1383.

What about the funniest jokes?
Have fun with our best jokes, rated by visitors.