Men are divided into two groups: 50% are wise and 50% have married.
Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog. When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
Kid to her mother: "If you hurt me I'll make you pregnant by a needle." Mother: "How? My sweet it isn't possible." Kid: "I'll insert the needle to daddy's condom!"
Q: What do you call an Asian family tree? A: A rice bush.
In 1996, Florida physical therapist Paul Shimkonis sued his local nudie bar claiming whiplash from a lap dancer's large breasts. Shimkonis felt he suffered physical harm and mental anguish from the breasts, which he claimed felt like "cement blocks" hitting him. Shimkonis sought justice in the amount of $15,000, which was denied.
Your Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.
Your Mother is so fat, her water heater needs a nuclear reactor.
Yo momma is so old, they use strands of her hair to carbon date dinosaur fossils.
Hi, I see that you're new to this gym, and I wanna be the first male to bother you.
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.