Wife: "I have to tell you something. I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad."
Wife: "No, you are not."
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
I called the doctor "My wife is going into labour! What should I do?"
"Is this her first child?" he asked.
"No, this is her husband."
Why should you never fart in an apple store?
They don't have Windows!
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke?
He won the "no-bell" prize!
Vote:
The only time the word incorrectly isn't spelled incorrectly is when it's spelled incorrectly.
Vote:
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Muffikin
Muffikin who?
Muffikin fingers are trapped in the door.
Vote:
*BOOM*
Mum shouts: "What was that?"
Me: "My coat fell."
Mum: "It sounded a lot heavier than that!"
Me: "I was in it."
What do you call a young army?
Infantry.
What about the funniest jokes?
Have fun with our best jokes, rated by visitors.