Client to designer: "It doesn't really look purple. It looks more like a mixture of red and blue."
I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight. "Was anything wrong with them?" the clerk asked. "Yes," I said. "They hurt my feelings."
If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2.
The irate customer calling the newspaper offices, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was. "Ma'am", said the employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered 'til Sunday." There was quite a pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition. "So that's why no one was in church today."
In the dim and distant past, when life's tempo wasn't so fast, Grandma used to rock and knit, Crochet, tat and babysit. When the kids were in a jam, they could always call on Gram. However, today she's in the gym exercising to keep slim. She's checking the web or surfing the net, sending some e-mail or placing a bet. Nothing seems to stop or block her, now that Grandma's off her rocker.
Old librarians never die, they just lose their references.
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Yo mama is so dirty when she jumped in the bath water the water jumped out and said "No I'm good."
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a weight machine and someone said "hey that's my phone number"!
Why are cemeteries surrounded with walls? - Because people are dying to get in there.
Vote: Joke has 84.80 % from 15 votes. Send joke: