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A woman comes up to me and says, "Hey sexy you lost 185 lbs and now you have money." "You wanna be my sugar daddy?" "Nope I'm diabetic!"
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: flirt, health, money, stupid
When we moved to the US I was 8 years old. I remember asking my father if I can have an allowance? When he asked me what that was, I said you're allowed to give me money.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, family, geography, life, money
Hitler is daddy! Hump me! Fuck me! Daddy better gas them Jews. My gas chambers love the smoke. G-g-gas the Jews.
Vote: has 22.01 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, jewish, morbid
Yo momma so skinny she looks like a mic stand.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, mean, ugly, Yo mama
Yo mama so fat, that when she got on the titanic, it sunk right away, and the only reason that this story is different is because the people who've told others about it were scared that she would sit on them.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
My wife left for her Father's home for vacation yesterday, when I was at my office. When I reached home, I found this note stick on the television. I am going to My Mom's Place for 6-7 days with kids and these are the instructions and warnings for you.... - No need to call your friends and cousins. Last time I got 4 large pizza bills beneath the sofa... 2 - Don't forget mobile on the soap holder in the bathroom like last time... Why would anyone need a mobile in the bathroom? 3 - Keep your spe cs in the box.. Last time around it was found in the refrigerator. 4 - Salary already paid to maid. No need to be extra generous. 5 - Don't disturb neighbors early in the morning asking if they have got newspaper or not? Our newspaper vendor is different from theirs... And our laundry person and milkman are also different. 6 - Your Underwear are on left side of wardrobe and on right side are kids'... Like last time, don't say I was uncomfortable at work.... 7 - All reports have been checked and you are alright. No need to go to that young lady doctor again and again. 8 - My sister and Bhabhi's birthdays have gone last month which you have already attended. No need to go to them at midnight and wish belated happy birthday.. 9 - Have cut off WiFi for 10 days. So sleep early.... 10 - Stop smiling and being happy... as Mrs. Khanna, Mrs. Avasthi, Mrs. Kulkarni, Mrs. Trivedi, Mrs. Ansari, Mrs. Rastogi, Mrs. Chatteerjee... They all w ill be out of station in this period.... 11. Do not knock on the doors of that KALMUHI Priya, next door, on pretext of asking Sugar milk coffee powder or so one. I stocked all these in kitchen cabinet. rnrnAnd last but not the least. 12 - Don't try to be oversmart.. rnI may be back any moment without informing you. Happy vacation
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, holiday, stupid, travel, wife
One night, there was a knock on my door... i open it and no one was there every night I would get the same knock and still no one was there... Untill the morning I was just making myself some tea as a person knocks on my door it was a black man he walk in and stole my tea .... i said to myself did he just mug me .... I still didn't know who was knocking on the doors at night Untill one night I opened my door and there was a floating mug I was still confused.
Vote: has 50.70 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man. When the last line is drawn, that man dies!
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Yo mama is so fat they thought her butt was a new planet.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, science, Yo mama
Yo Mama So fat... She sat on top of Walmart and lowered the prices.
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, money, Yo mama



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