Q: Why are Germans bad cooks? A: The only good one killed himself.
Q: Why can't skeletons play music at a church? A: They have no organs.
Chuck Norris just completed a full round of Golf... In 17 shots.
Chuck Norris just checked out from 501... In 8 darts.
Two boys have taken part in IQ tests at the well-known psychologist. The first boy has opened the door after 30 minutes of testing and has screamed: "wow, perfect, unbelievable, I have 60 points, I have 60 points!" After another 30 minutes has opened the door the second boy and has screamed: "wow, super, I have 62 points, I have 62 points!" They sat down and asked each other: "and what does it mean, that you have 60 points and I have 62 points? Let us ask the psychologist what does it mean?" The psychologist has said: "the 60 and 62 points means that you are both idiots."
A married couple has invoked the ghosts, after 15 minutes of invoking has appeared only the face of the grandmother of the man. The married couple has asked the grandmother together: "What would you like to tell us dear granny? " The granny has said: "I am looking forward to seeing you soon. Have a nice day!"
Yo mama so fat when she fell on my iPod it became an iPad.
Q: Why is it that a white man is hanging on to a car driving 200 km per hour? A: Because a black man is driving it!
A woman goes to a doctor, doctor, I'm tired of life, want to finish my life, what is best to kill myself? The doctor says: "Should yourself 5 cm under your breast, you will be dead!" 2 weeks later, woman back at doctors, what happened? I shot myself into my knee.
If you think you have shitty job, what if you were toilet paper!