Teacher: "How much is half of 8?" Little Johnny: "Up and down or across?" Teacher: "What do you mean?" Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!"
"Today, I saw a homeless men living in a tyre. So I did good deed and punctured it." "How is that a good deed?" "He is now living in a flat."
Man says to his boss "Can we talk? I have a problem." Boss says "Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!" Man says "Ok I have a serious drinking opportunity."
Your mom so dumb she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
The bartender said "Sorry,we don't serve time travelers." Two time travelers walk into a bar.
The cannibals on the island Borneo have caught and after that have grilled one gypsy boy on a turnspit. They had to turn him really quickly above the burning fire because at a slower speed of rotation he managed to steal the potatoes from the live coal.
Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: All of them cause they will never see the light.
The waitress asked how I would like my coffee. I told her: "like my woman - hot and black".
Yo mama so fat, her ID pic had to be taken in panoramic mode.
Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza. A: One comes out of the oven alive.
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