The best religious jokes

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
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has 77.13 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: god, life, religious
Q: Why can't atheists solve exponential equations? A: Because they don't believe in higher powers.
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has 76.75 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: atheist, math, religious
A deer hunter asked his Pastor if it was a sin to hunt on Sunday. "From what I hear about your aim," said the Pastor, "It's a sin for you to hunt anytime."
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has 76.11 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: death, hunting, priest, religious, time
Hypocrisy: When a Jehovahs Witness doesn't celebrate Halloween because they don't like random people knocking on their doors.
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has 75.28 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, religious
A newlywed couple lay in bed one morning husband says: "How about you go brew us some coffee?" Wife: "That's your job." Hasband: "Says who?" Wife : "The bible, it's on just about every page." Husband: "The bible don't say anything about brewing coffee." Wife (Holding her Bible flipping pages): "See every page Hebrews, Hebrews, hebrews."
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has 74.89 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: bible, marriage, religious
My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: food, mean, religious, wife
A Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door yesterday, so I answered it and asked if he wanted to come in he said, "Yeah, okay." I said I'm just making a cup of tea do you want one? He said, "Yeah, sure." I said I've just made some toast do you want a slice? He said, "Yeah, why not." I then he sat down and I asked him, "So what now?" He said, "I don't know I've never got this far before!"
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has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: life, religious
One day little Flora was taken to have an aching tooth removed. That night, while she was saying her prayers, her mother was surprised to hear her say: "And forgive us our debts as we forgive our dentists."
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, dentist, kids, money, religious
A bus full of nuns crashes and unforunatly they all die at the gates of heaven they meet St Peter. He asks the first nun: "Have you ever had any contact with a penis?" The nun replies: "I poked one once." St Peter says: "Wash your finger in this holy water and enter heaven." He asks the next nun the same question, she replies "I findled with one once." "Wash your hand in this holy water and enter heaven." Then St Peter hears a commotion among the other nuns and one nun pushes to the front. "Whats wrong?" he asks. The nun replies "If im going to have to gargle that holy water, I want to do it before Sister Anne washes her ass in it."
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has 73.43 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: dirty, religious
Q: How do you make holy water? A: You boil the hell out of it.
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has 72.05 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, religious, science