The best school jokes

TEACHER : What is further away, Australia or the Moon? Pupil : Australia, you can see the Moon at night.
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: school
Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it. Mary: No madam! I will not be able to attend it. Teacher: Why? Mary: My mother will not allow me to go so far!
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
A little girl took her report card home and showed it to mom. The mother was very disappointed by all the very low grades. "Well look on the bright side" said the child, "you know for sure I don't cheat."
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: kids, school, stupid
Little Johnny comes home from school, and his mom asks: "Johnny, how did it go with your exam? Was written or oral?" And Johnny says: "Mom, I think it was anal... 'Cuz it went like shit!"
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has 60.65 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: communication, little Johnny, school, vulgar
What's a skunk's favourite game in school? Show and smell.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, school
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course, I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh, good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?" The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?" The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?" The boy replied, "Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but 'realistically', we’re living with two h***s and a future congressman."
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has 60.15 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dad, kids, money, school
Q. What's the king of the pencil case? A. The ruler.
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has 60.12 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: school
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
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has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
When I was young I had my first induction day in IT we were making an animation on scratch me and my friend decided to go on our phones. The teacher came over and asked, "what we were doing on our phones." I had to think fast so I said "we were researching something" she said that was alright. Still, to this day I wonder why she didn't notice that we had computers in front of us that had the school wifi.
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: phone, school, stupid, teacher, technology
Chuck Norris went to school so he could be studied.
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has 58.58 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school
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