The best school jokes

„And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?" asks mother. „Come on mom, the most important thing is that I'm healthy!"
Vote: has 59.80 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: health, little Johnny, school
Billy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick. Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can’t find it," he admitted. The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now. Billy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and went on his way. A short while later he returned to the class room and said to the teacher "I still can’t find it." Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who had been at the school for awhile, to help Billy find the bathroom. So Tommy and Billy left the classroom together and five minutes later they both return and sat down at their seats. The teacher asked Tommy "Well, did you find it?" Tommy was quick with his reply. "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards."
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, school, teacher
Chuck Norris bunked school one day. Till today that day is known as Sunday.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school, time
What's a moo hoo for grazing school? Grass class.
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More jokes about: animal, school
Jane was sitting in anatomy class on day when her teacher asked her a question. He inquired, “What grows to 10 times its original size when excited?” Jane blushed and said that she didn't know. Jimmy raised his hand and said, “I know! The pupil of the eye.” The teacher replied, “Yes, very good Jimmy.” The the teacher turned to Jane and said, “Jane I have three things to say to you: One -- you have a very dirty mind. Two -- you haven't been studying hard enough. And three -- you're going to be very disappointed!”
Vote: has 59.09 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
Q: What's the first thing elves learn in school? A: The "elf"-abet!
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: elf, school
There were three guys at a bar. One was a college student, one was a buisness man and the other was a biker. The student tells the two other men that it was his aniversary and he got his wife a pearl necklace and a trip to the Bahamas "Shit if she doesnt like the necklace she'll love the trip" he said. So the buisness man said "That's nice, for my last aniversary I got my wife a Mercades and a new mansion, if she didn't like the mercades she has to like the new mansion. " As the biker finished his drink he said "For my last aniversary I got my wife a t-shirt and a vibrator. If she didn't like the t-shirt she can go fuck herself."
Vote: has 58.58 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, business, college, school, student
Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor? Student: You told me not to use tables.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
Little Johnny returns from school and says: "Mam, in school we write dirty swear-words so often!" "But I hope you are not writing them, my son." "No, I'm dictating them!"
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, little Johnny, school
Malcolm: Miss Wilson can I go to the loo? Miss Wilson: In two minutes Malcolm. Do your alphabet first. Malcolm: Ok Miss Wilson. abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz. Miss Wilson: Very good, Malcolm, but where's the p? Malcolm: Miss, it's running down my leg!
Vote: has 58.52 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, school