The best school jokes

Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it. Mary: No madam! I will not be able to attend it. Teacher: Why? Mary: My mother will not allow me to go so far!
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

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I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

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Jacob: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school? Leonard: Why? Jacob: She had bright students!
Vote: has 57.10 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

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Teacher: To which family does the elephant belong? Pupil: I don’t know, nobody I know owns one!
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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Little Johnny returns from school and says: "Mam, in school we write dirty swear-words so often!" "But I hope you are not writing them, my son." "No, I'm dictating them!"
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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Phil: What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher? Cheryl: I don’t know. Phil: He has only one pupil.
Vote: has 56.65 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

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There were three guys at a bar. One was a college student, one was a buisness man and the other was a biker. The student tells the two other men that it was his aniversary and he got his wife a pearl necklace and a trip to the Bahamas "Shit if she doesnt like the necklace she'll love the trip" he said. So the buisness man said "That's nice, for my last aniversary I got my wife a Mercades and a new mansion, if she didn't like the mercades she has to like the new mansion. " As the biker finished his drink he said "For my last aniversary I got my wife a t-shirt and a vibrator. If she didn't like the t-shirt she can go fuck herself."
Vote: has 56.05 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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In the beautiful world of fantasy, holding hands is the first sign of true love. In college it means someone is too drunk to stand on their own.
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, college, drunk, love, school
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "It's because yer feet ain't empty."
Vote: has 55.37 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

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