Little Johnny comes home from his first day of school.
His mother asks, "What did you learn in school today?"
Little Johnny replies, "Not much. They want me back tomorrow.
Vote:
Yo momma so fat that when she went to her prom she literally raised the roof.
DEPT OF STATISTICS:
All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY:
Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in.
The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
DEPT OF HISTORY:
All students get the same grade they got last year.
DEPT OF RELIGION:
Grade is determined by God.
DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY:
What is a grade?
LAW SCHOOL:
Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.
DEPT OF MATHEMATICS:
Grades are variable.
DEPT OF LOGIC:
If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.
DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE:
Random number generator determines grade.
MUSIC DEPARTMENT:
Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively).
DEPT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION:
Everybody gets an A.
It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
(The Fast and The Furious)
It doesn't matter if you pass the semester by getting 40% or 95%.
Passing's passing.
What's a moo hoo for grazing school?
Grass class.
Q: What's the first thing elves learn in school?
A: The "elf"-abet!
„And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?" asks mother.
„Come on mom, the most important thing is that I'm healthy!"
Vote:
Chuck Norris bunked school one day.
Till today that day is known as Sunday.
Vote:
Teacher: To which family does the elephant belong?
Pupil: I don’t know, nobody I know owns one!
A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin.
At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again.
The teacher says, "What are you doing?"
He says, "Checking my answers."