The best school jokes

The headmistress at a girls' prep school in the old South (circa 1959) calls down to the army base and speaks with one of the officers: "We're having a social here at school and I was wondering if you could send some of your nice young men to attend." "Why of course," the Lieutenant answers. "Just one thing," says the lady. "Of course you'll make sure there aren't any Jews there." "Why of course," the Lieutenant answers. On the day of the dance, a bus pulls up from the base. Out comes a platoon of black GIs. The schoolmistress is quite distressed. "Why, why, there must be some mistake," she says to a burly black Master Sergeant. "Why heck no, ma'am," he replies. "Lt. Goldberg NEVER makes a mistake!"
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has 60.73 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: jewish, military, school, student, time
Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school
Yo momma so fat that when she went to her prom she literally raised the roof.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, party, school, Yo mama
Q: What's the first thing elves learn in school? A: The "elf"-abet!
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has 59.89 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: elf, school
It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning. (The Fast and The Furious) It doesn't matter if you pass the semester by getting 40% or 95%. Passing's passing.
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: school
Jane was sitting in anatomy class on day when her teacher asked her a question. He inquired, “What grows to 10 times its original size when excited?” Jane blushed and said that she didn't know. Jimmy raised his hand and said, “I know! The pupil of the eye.” The teacher replied, “Yes, very good Jimmy.” The the teacher turned to Jane and said, “Jane I have three things to say to you: One -- you have a very dirty mind. Two -- you haven't been studying hard enough. And three -- you're going to be very disappointed!”
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has 59.20 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: school
What's a moo hoo for grazing school? Grass class.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, school
In school, we had to do a skit demonstrating key concepts of the English language. My skit on the "diphthong" clearly demonstrated that the string micro-bikini was not a wise choice.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, ethnic, school
Chuck Norris bunked school one day. Till today that day is known as Sunday.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school, time
DEPT OF STATISTICS: All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY: Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind. DEPT OF HISTORY: All students get the same grade they got last year. DEPT OF RELIGION: Grade is determined by God. DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY: What is a grade? LAW SCHOOL: Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A. DEPT OF MATHEMATICS: Grades are variable. DEPT OF LOGIC: If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A. DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE: Random number generator determines grade. MUSIC DEPARTMENT: Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively). DEPT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION: Everybody gets an A.
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has 58.72 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: history, math, religious, school
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