The best school jokes

It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning. (The Fast and The Furious) It doesn't matter if you pass the semester by getting 40% or 95%. Passing's passing.
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: school
Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, "Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?" Little Johnny smiles proudly, "No Miss, there's no need, my mom cooks really well."
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has 57.45 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: food, little Johnny, school, teacher
Joe: What’s the king of all school supplies? Moe: I don’t know. What? Joe: The ruler.
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has 57.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: school
Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: school
In the beautiful world of fantasy, holding hands is the first sign of true love. In college it means someone is too drunk to stand on their own.
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has 56.92 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: beauty, college, drunk, love, school
Phil: What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher? Cheryl: I don’t know. Phil: He has only one pupil.
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has 56.92 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: school
I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade. Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...
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has 56.92 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, dirty, school
When you try to change a man, you basically undertake his mother’s role; And she made him eat spinach and study for school...
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has 56.78 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: marriage, school
Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. "I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "Excuse me?" the accountant said. "I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back." "I see," the accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?" "I'll start you at eighty thousand." "Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?" "That," the owner said, "is your first worry."
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: business, money, school
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
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has 56.46 % from 164 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, phone, school, teacher
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