One day, a teacher walks into her classroom to start the lesson.
She walks up to the board and sees in little writing the word "penis".
She thinks nothing of it and wipes it off.
The next day, she comes in and sees the word "penis", only this time it"s a little bit bigger.
She wipes it off again.
Sure enough, the next day she comes in and sees "penis" on the board a little bigger.
This proceeds until the end of the year when finally, it"s across the whole board.
The teacher wonders what"s gonna happen the next day since it"s taking up all the space on the board.
When she came in the next day but doesent find "penis".
This time she finds written, "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets".
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Today in lesson Little Jonny went to the back of the room and Miss McRacen went "Not in the back."
Jonny: "That's what she said."
Miss: "Get out!"
Jonny "She said that too."
Vote:
How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home
Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.
"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy.
"Tommy," replied the second.
"My Daddy's an accountant.
What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.
Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."
"Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !"
Ramu: "It's a family tradition".
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher: "What about your mother?"
Ramu: "She's a woman".
In high school, you can't go out to lunch because it's not allowed whereas in college, you can't go out to lunch because you can't afford it.
A father went to take his daughter from school.
While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!"
"With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her.
"Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
This guy was having a problem with mice in his apartment.
"Dude," he told a friend, "I've tried everything and those damn mice keep coming back."
"I had the same thing man," his friend says.
"All you have to do is stuff steel wool in their little holes."
"That's it?" the guy asked.
"I'll do it tonight if it means getting rid of the damn rodents."
About a week later the guy gets a call.
"How's it going with the mice, buddy?"
"Not so good, dude."
"What's the problem?" his friend asks.
"To be honest, I'm having a lot of trouble holding their little legs apart."