When you try to change a man, you basically undertake his mother’s role; And she made him eat spinach and study for school...
Joe: What’s the king of all school supplies? Moe: I don’t know. What? Joe: The ruler.
In the beautiful world of fantasy, holding hands is the first sign of true love. In college it means someone is too drunk to stand on their own.
Jacob: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school? Leonard: Why? Jacob: She had bright students!
Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.
When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
Teacher: To which family does the elephant belong? Pupil: I don’t know, nobody I know owns one!
Yo momma so fat that when she went to her prom she literally raised the roof.
Phil: What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher? Cheryl: I don’t know. Phil: He has only one pupil.
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "It's because yer feet ain't empty."