The best school jokes

Yo mama so fat when she walked out in August in her yellow sun dress and the kids said mommy its time for school.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, insulting, kids, school, Yo mama
Billy and Willy were at Sunday school studying about Noah’s ark. On the way home, Willy asked, “Do you think Noah did much fishing?” “How could he?” said Billy. “He only had two worms”. The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student’s neighbor, “Hey wake that student up!” The neighbor yells back, “You put him to sleep, you wake him up!”
Vote: has 54.80 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America. Shamu: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America? Ramu: Shamu!
Vote: has 54.77 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: geography, school, teacher
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
Vote: has 54.45 % from 135 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, phone, school, teacher
One day, a teacher walks into her classroom to start the lesson. She walks up to the board and sees in little writing the word "penis". She thinks nothing of it and wipes it off. The next day, she comes in and sees the word "penis", only this time it"s a little bit bigger. She wipes it off again. Sure enough, the next day she comes in and sees "penis" on the board a little bigger. This proceeds until the end of the year when finally, it"s across the whole board. The teacher wonders what"s gonna happen the next day since it"s taking up all the space on the board. When she came in the next day but doesent find "penis". This time she finds written, "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets".
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed... driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What the hell is taking so long? Hit the damned ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Give me a break! You don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here."
Vote: has 53.78 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, wife
A little girl cuts her hand on the playground and runs crying to the teacher. She asks the teacher for a glass of cider. "Why do you want a glass of cider?" the teacher asks. "To take away the pain," sobs the little girl. "What do you mean?" the teacher asks. "Well," sobs the little girl. "I overheard my big sister say that whenever she has a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider."
Vote: has 53.62 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
Teacher: "Alex, stop showing off. Do you think you are the teacher of this class?" Alex: "No, Miss." Teacher: "Then stop acting like a fool!"
Vote: has 53.57 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher
Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father: No. Why do you ask that? Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
Vote: has 53.03 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, school, teacher
Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school