The best school jokes

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry what is your problem?” Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!” The teacher had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: “What is 3 x 3?” Harry: “9″. Principal: “What is 6 x 6?” Harry: “36″. And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, “I think Harry can go to the third-grade.” The teacher says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions?” The principal and Harry both agree. The teacher asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?” Harry, after a moment, “Legs.” Teacher: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?” The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question! Harry replied, “Pockets.” Teacher: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?” Harry: “Pants” Teacher: "What’s starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" Harry: Coconut The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge. Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" Harry: "Bubblegum" Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?" The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer. Harry: "Shake hands" Teacher: "Now I will ask some “Who am I sort of questions, okay?" Harry: "Yep." Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do." Harry: "Tent" Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first." Principal was looking restless and bit tense. Harry: "Wedding Ring" Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good." Harry: "Nose" Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver." Harry: "Arrow" Teacher: "What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of excitement?" Harry: "Firetruck" The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I missed the last ten questions myself.”
has 82.81 % from 1029 votes. More jokes about: dog, school, student, teacher
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
has 82.57 % from 1522 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school, teacher
Teacher: Why are you late? Ramu: Because of the sign. Teacher: What sign? Ramu: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
has 82.36 % from 972 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
One day,little Timmy was at school and heard the word “shit”. He went home and asked his dad for the definition and he promptly told him “coats and jackets”. Timmy went to school the next day and heard the word “fucking”, and for a second time, asked his father what it meant. His father promptly said “cooking”. Then,he returned to school the third day and heard the words “bitches and hoes”. He went home and his father told him it meant “grandpa and grandma”. Later,on Thanksgiving night,his grandparents came over. Timmy answered the door with glee and says: “Hey bitches and hoes! I’ll take your shit to the closet cause dad’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey!"
has 82.36 % from 1301 votes. More jokes about: food, kids, school, Thanksgiving
Boy: “Isn’t the principal a dummy!” Girl: “Say, do you know who I am?” Boy: “No.” Girl: “I’m the principal’s daughter.” Boy: “And do you know who I am?” Girl: “No,” Boy: “Thank goodness!”
has 82.33 % from 559 votes. More jokes about: school
English Class Teacher: "One day we will be corruption free. Which tense is it?" Student: "Future impossible tense."
has 82.29 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: communication, money, school, student, teacher
Teacher and her 3 boy students: Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.” Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.” Boy 2 laughed… Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy 2: “I saw your bra straps.” Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one month.” Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class… Teacher: “Why are you leaving?” Boy 3: “I think my school days are over.”
has 82.22 % from 592 votes. More jokes about: dirty, school, student, teacher
Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water? Ramu: "HIJKLMNO"!! Teacher: What are you talking about? Ramu: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
has 82.14 % from 413 votes. More jokes about: school, science
Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
has 82.06 % from 950 votes. More jokes about: age, money, school, teacher
Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object? Student: You are pretty. Teacher: What’s the direct object? Student: A good report card.
has 81.97 % from 403 votes. More jokes about: school
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