The best school jokes

What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says ‘chew chew chew’.
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: school
In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
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has 43.69 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school, teacher
The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home. “The only consolation I can find in these awful grades,” lamented the father, “is that I know he never cheated during his exams.”
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: school
A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil. "And who was it that developed the theories behind communism?" the professor asked. "I don't know," the student said. "Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Reebs, you would know," said the professor. "That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"
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has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: business, college, school, student
The absent-minded teacher paused to chat awhile with one of her students, then asked, "Which way was I going when I stopped to talk to you?" "That way", the student pointed. ''Good,'' said the teacher, ''then I've had my lunch."
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has 43.46 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
One day, a young boy was asked by his teacher to tell him what the chemical formula for water was. The boy replied with "H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O". The Teacher was stunned. "That's not right, how did you come up with that?" The boy said, "Last week you said it was H2O!"
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has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: school, science, teacher
At school, a soldier spoke to Johnny's class. Johnny felt enthusiastic about joining the military, so he went home and told his dad. To his surprise, this was the biggest step forward in his life, so his dad decided to explain the military to him. "Son, I'll teach you what you need to know about the military. The Army and Navy are the only two REAL branches of our military. The Marine Corps is a cult. The Coast Guard is playing a game called 'Pretend Navy Since 1915'." So Johnny asks his dad, "what about the Air Force?" Johnny's dad explained to him, "well son, the Air Force is like a giant corporation. Just a bunch of people sitting at desks playing Flight Simulator and bullshitting with each other." By that time, Johnny was amazed and decided he wanted to join the military, but wanted to know what his daddy did. "What did you do in the military, dad?" "Well son, I spoke Chinese and shot at the Americans in Vietnam."
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has 42.73 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: air force, little Johnny, military, navy, school
What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher? Lots of blood tests!
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: school
Why did the teacher jump into the lake? Because she wanted to test the waters!
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: school
How many students does it take to change a light bulb? None, Light bulb changing isn't in the course notes.
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: school
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