The best school jokes

Teacher: “You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?” Boy: “Not a bit!”
Vote: has 41.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college looking for the library. He approaches a student and asked, “Excuse me, young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?” The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, “I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!” The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, “I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, asshole?”
Vote: has 41.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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One day, a young boy was asked by his teacher to tell him what the chemical formula for water was. The boy replied with "H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O". The Teacher was stunned. "That's not right, how did you come up with that?" The boy said, "Last week you said it was H2O!"
Vote: has 40.53 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, science, teacher
Luke: Why did the M&M go to school? Stan: I’m stumped. Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
Vote: has 40.09 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married? A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
Vote: has 40.09 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: football, marriage, school, sport
Teacher: Daniel, I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week. What do you have to say for yourself? Daniel: I’m glad it’s Friday!
Vote: has 39.94 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

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A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied. The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" "No, it's because you're 25."
Vote: has 39.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, blonde, math, school
When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom? Because there are no pupils to see!
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

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Hunter: What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school? Josh: Beats me. Hunter: Pop quizzes!
Vote: has 39.32 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What vegetables to librarians like? A: Quiet peas.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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