The best school jokes

Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.
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has 42.13 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school, teacher
A student called her best friend and said that she had some great news. “The teacher told me that we had to do a test today in rain or shine,” she told her. “Why is that great,” her friend asked. “It’s snowing today!”
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: school
Q: What is long and hard to a blonde? A: Fourth grade.
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has 42.00 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde, school
Ramu: Dad, can you write in the dark? Father: I think so. What do you want me to write? Ramu: Your name on this report card.
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: dad, school
An announcement came over the intercom for the college students: "Will the students who are parked on the wrong side of the Parking area please move their cars." Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the three hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class."
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: school
Teacher: Can you tell me where Napoleon came from? Pupil: Course I can. Teacher: Very good.
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has 41.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: school
At school, a soldier spoke to Johnny's class. Johnny felt enthusiastic about joining the military, so he went home and told his dad. To his surprise, this was the biggest step forward in his life, so his dad decided to explain the military to him. "Son, I'll teach you what you need to know about the military. The Army and Navy are the only two REAL branches of our military. The Marine Corps is a cult. The Coast Guard is playing a game called 'Pretend Navy Since 1915'." So Johnny asks his dad, "what about the Air Force?" Johnny's dad explained to him, "well son, the Air Force is like a giant corporation. Just a bunch of people sitting at desks playing Flight Simulator and bullshitting with each other." By that time, Johnny was amazed and decided he wanted to join the military, but wanted to know what his daddy did. "What did you do in the military, dad?" "Well son, I spoke Chinese and shot at the Americans in Vietnam."
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has 41.82 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: air force, little Johnny, military, navy, school
What did the music teacher need a ladder for? To reach the top notes.
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has 40.46 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: school
Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! Ramu: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
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has 40.39 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: “Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face.” “Yes, sir,” the boys said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “‘It’s because yer feet ain’t empty.”
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has 40.09 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: school, student, teacher
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