You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today! Mom: That’s great. What in? Stevie: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.
Hunter: What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school? Josh: Beats me. Hunter: Pop quizzes!
When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom? Because there are no pupils to see!
There are three 6th grade girls: a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Which one has the biggest tits? The blonde....she's 18.
Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? Donald: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O. Teacher: What are you talking about? Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning. Class: Hooray! Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.
One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, "There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything." After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same. After hesitating, they all did it. "Next," the professor said, "you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger."
What is a teacher's favorite kind of music? Class-ical.
There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks. No one finished it. Why? Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick. It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!