I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork. 
Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today!
Mom: That’s great. What in?
Stevie: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.
One day, Little Johnny was with his father at home.
He asked: "What does "evolution" mean?"
His father replied, "Figure it out."
Next day, at school, during a math test, a boy raised his hand: "What's 289+308?"
The teacher said: "Figure it out."
Ten minutes later, Little Johnny looked at the boy and said: "Why don't you write "evolution"? Your teacher already told you!"
Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
What is a teacher's favorite kind of music?
Class-ical.
There are three 6th grade girls: a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
Which one has the biggest tits?
The blonde....she's 18.
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.
Q: What vegetables to librarians like?
A: Quiet peas.
The following conversation took place in school.
Teacher: "So we are all descended from Adam and Eve."
Young kid: "My dad says we came from apes."
Teacher: "That's probably true for your family Abdul."
Vote:
Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married?
A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.